Floyd

I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I had picked up a stranger, and asked, "Thanks, but why would you pick me up? How do you know that I'm not a serial killer?" I told him the chances of two serial killers being in the same car was astronomical.

Bob finally decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was tying some flies for fun. His new wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally spoke, "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it's time you quit spending all your time out here in the shop. You probably should just consider getting rid of all this fly tying stuff and that stupid rusty old Jeep. Bob got a horrified look on his face. She said, "Darling, what's wrong?" He replied, "For a minute there you were starting to sound just like my ex wife." "EX WIFE!" she screamed, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!" Bob replied: "I wasn't!"

Condoms do not guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.

I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

Got mine yesterday. Nice set of flies. Look like fish getters to me.

The Dave’s Hopper I used to tie and fish with used Polypropylene Yarn. At fly shops it’s usually called Poly Yarn. It’ floats. Chenille not so much.

Mine are on the way. Should get them Monday or Tuesday.

I'm in

Flies mailed this morning. You should receive them Monday or Tuesday.

OK I’m game. 14 flies it is.

Some of the dollar stores have car wash gloves that are the same as the mops. Click on link. http://www.flytyingforum.com/index.php?showtopic=65750&hl=glove

Why Not I'm in.

The bugs have been mailed.

I’m in. Love those floating bugs.

Late yesterday afternoon when the sun went down I stayed up all night wondering what happened to it. Early this morning IT DAWNED ON ME!

Quite cold turkey Thanksgiving day 1981. Still hanging in there.

You have to start by tying the embroidery thread down starting at the point of the needle. Wrap your tying thread around the embroidery thread until you have a little more body length than you need. Tie off and cut tying thread. The weave used on this fly is just a simple overhand or granny knot. Make a overhand knot. Open the knot and place one thread under the needle and the other thread on top of the needle and pull tight. Continue this until you have the length you want. Remove from needle. When you cut off excess thread there should be 4 tag ends left. Be sure and tie down all 4 tag ends onto the hook. If your still having problems I’ll send you my phone number or you can send me yours by PM. Should be able to walk you through it. Hope this helps.

I use the two strand twisted embroidery thread from Hobby Lobby for this fly. I’ve seen embroidery threat in metallic (silver) as you’ve described. I tried it a couple of times and didn’t care for it.

Try using a dark or contrasting color background. Just a thought.

It's on page 8 of the step by step. http://www.flytyingf...showtopic=40665

Some of the photos look like you were around the Foot Dam area, is that right?

Dear Citizens, Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress. Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle. Sincerely, The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.) PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.

Hobby Lobby has it in 5 mm. Just bought some the other day.

THE GREAT CANOE ADVENTURE (True Story) One day in the early spring on the Huron river a few miles from Milford Michigan. The wife and I with our daughter (Floyd, Ella and Bonnie) came to the Proud Lake Recreation Area to watch the people go down the river in their canoe's. It was a nice spring day, and it was on a weekend to make it even better because there were more people. Anytime you have lots of people with little or no experience trying to paddle a canoe down a river that is swollen with the spring runoff is always good for a few laughs. We decided that the best place to observe this great event was by the bridge, because the water was about eighteen inches below the bridge which made the people portage around the bridge. As you may have guessed not all people chose to portage and this is what makes canoe watching a good form of entertainment. We were there for a while having a few laughs as some of the people were having trouble with their canoes while getting in and out of them. About seventy-five yards down stream from the bridge there were two large culverts. Here came two canoes with a young couple in each one. You could just tell by the way the young guys were acting that they were a couple of Macho Boys. I am thinking to myself this aught to be good. They were discussing whether to portage or go under the bridge. It seemed the girls wanted to play it safe and portage, but the Macho Boys thought they could make it. (No sweat) You must keep in mind that this water was snow and ice just a few days before, so if you fall in, it has a tendency to make some of your body parts pucker up just a little. Well Bonnie had been laughing quite a bit so she was primed pretty well by now. When the canoes got close to the bridge, the Macho Boys were telling the girls how they planed to get through without drowning or freezing to death. They were going against the current, so this means you have to work a little and not just set back and cruse on through. Their idea was for all of them to lie down in the canoes and with their hands reach up and grab the bottom of the bridge and pull themselves through. As they started under, the canoes were rubbing on the bottom of the bridge. After they were under the bridge and out of sight you could hear by the way they were talking that things were not going well according to the big plain. The I-Beams were rusty and full of old spider webs, so I don't think the girls liked to handle this very much. Bonnie is starting to laugh quite a bit now. There were twelve to fifteen people there that were having just as much trouble not laughing as Bonnie was. One of the canoes got stuck sideways under the bridge, which caused the young lady to question the brain power of the canoe captain which was still giving orders. The other canoe finely got through to the other side, and the young lady in the front grabbed a tree branch to hold their place in the river while waiting for their friends. Meanwhile, back under the bridge the captain and the first mate were not getting along very well. The captain was giving new orders but the first mate didn't understand or care, so it was determined by the captain that the first mate was stupid. Bonnie was laughing pretty well by this time. Most people there were trying to control their laughter, because the captain was getting a little upset. After they were there for a while the genius in the other canoe decided to go back and help, so he told the young lady in the front to let go of the branch. Now they are coming back with the current, backwards. They started under the bridge using only their hands to control the canoe. The current was too much and they rammed the other canoe which caused quite a commotion with the two first mates. As we were trying to look under the bridge, a cushion came floating out, then a few seconds later a paddle. This collision must have helped dislodge the first canoe because it came out. You could tell by the expressions on their faces that they were not having as good a time as the people watching were. Bonnie was cracking up by now. Laughter is contagious sometimes, and this was one of those times. Well the young couple made it to shore and she reached out and grabbed a bunch of grass on shore. He gets out and goes back to the bridge to help his friends which are now stuck sideways. The young lady sitting in the canoe holding the grass was pretty embarrassed with all the people laughing. So she decided to get out, and she stands up still holding the grass and starts to step out of the canoe. Holding the grass and with one foot on shore and the other in the canoe. You guessed it. The canoe starts to move downstream. Well when her feet were about three feet apart she took a not so beautiful swan dive into the very cold Huron River. Well this was all that Bonnie could stand. She just lost it. She let out a scream of laughter that could be heard for quite a distance. She fell down holding her stomach and rolling around on the ground. When this happened, the whole crowd lost it also. The young lady grabbed the canoe and climbed out of the water. She was so embarrassed that she pulled the canoe up on shore and went behind a big tree trying to make herself as small as possible. Her captain was back at the bridge giving helpful hints' to his friends still stuck under the bridge. After a few minutes they managed to get the canoe back through the bridge. Bonnie was still rolling around on the ground. The two captains decided that the better part of valor was to throw away plain "A," go to plain "B." ( Portage around the bridge). They picked up their canoes made the portage, and was last seen going upstream for a nice spring day canoe adventure. (This is a true story) (By Floyd Robertson)

I received the flies Monday afternoon. Outstanding quality on this group of flies. Especially like the poppers. Thanks to all in the swap, and a special thanks to BB for hosting.