Superbowl Driving Directions!

[bentflyrod 0]

For all the visitors, from outside of Michigan, coming to the Super Bowl in February.

 

1. First, you must learn to pronounce the city name. It's Deh-troit. NOT DEE-troit. If you pronounce it DEE-Troit then we will assume you are from Toledo and here for the Country Music hoe-down.

 

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Detroit has its own version of traffic rules... Hold on and pray!

 

3. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 am to 10:00 am. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 pm to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. Weekends are open game.

 

4. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. If you're first off the starting line when the light turns green, count to five before going across the intersection. This will avoid getting in the way of cross-traffic who just ran their yellow light to keep from getting shot.

 

5. Schoenherr can ONLY be properly pronounced by a native of the Detroit metro area. That goes for Gratiot too.

 

6. Construction and renovation on I-94, I-96, I-75, I-275, I-375, The Lodge and The Southfield Freeways are a way of life and forever. Just deal with it.

 

7. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect or they are "out-of-towners".

 

8. All old men with white hair wearing a hat have total right-of-way.

 

9. The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 and I-275 is 85 regardless of the posted speeds. Anything less is considered downright SISSY. Oh, and don't even think of allowing more than one car length between cars!

 

10. That attractive wrought iron on the windows and doors in Detroit is NOT ornamental. DO NOT get out of your car to take pictures.

 

11. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says "Keep honking, I'm reloading". He/she is.

 

12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving because they are so friendly in Detroit. I would suggest you duck.

 

13. I-275 and I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR.

 

14. It's not M-10, it's "The Lodge".

 

15. That's not a lake, it's a pothole.

 

16. If someone tells you it's on Outer Drive, you better hope you have a map.

 

17. The Michigan left turn is simple. If you want to turn left, go 1/4 of a mile past your turn, get to the left, then make a left, then make another left, then make a right when you get back to the intersection where you wanted to turn left in the first place. NOW you have gone left.

 

18. And those 2 really ugly arches over Telegraph???? DON'T EVEN ASK!! WE DON'T HAVE A CLUE!!!!!

 

WELCOME AND ENJOY YOUR STAY, BUT AVOID EYE-CONTACT WITH THE LOCALS.

[Steeldrifter 0]

Just to help add to the list

 

 

 

19. If you hear loud noises dont go out of your room thinking it's fireworks after the game, if it sounds like an ak-47 chances are it is (please refer to BFRs rule about ducking)

 

20. If for some unknown reason you do stop at a red light in Detroit the guy running up to your window asking "what'ch ya need" is not trying to help you with directions

 

21. (this is stop light rule #3) if a women walks up to your car and asks for a ride trust me, shes not asking for you to take her somewhere

 

and last but not least heres a quick guide to try to blend in when talking with someone....

 

Friend = "Dawg"

Your motel = "Crib"

Beer = "Four'O"

Car = "Whip"

OK = "Word"

A Cigarette = "A Square"

Okay = "A’ight"

Jewelry = "Bling" (btw please leave it at home if you want to keep it!)

Bounce = "leave" (i.e we gonna bounce on out'a here)

Worried = "Buggin'"

Friends = "Crew" (make sure you come with alot!)

Money = "Dead Prez's"

Car wheels = "Dubs"

And your not going somewhere...your "Rollin"

Police = "Fiv'O" or "Rollers" or the "Po-Po"

Cool = "Fly"

Sure = "Fo’ sho’"

Information = "Four-one-one (411)"

Fake = "frontin'"

Steal = "Jacked"

Alcohol = "Juice"

 

 

And finally the two most important things.

 

#1-If someone asks you something and you really want to get in trouble...just reply with "Deez nutz"

 

and #2.....While out in public , Dont ever say that OJ did it!

 

 

If you follow these rules you just might make it out alive

 

:yahoo:

[bentflyrod 0]

And if someone ask you if you want to snizzle some wizzle! Make sho its not the popo! You sho nuf don't want to go to the big house and visit bubba!

 

I'm gunna bounce on out of here now, dawg! WORD!!!!!

 

BFR :gun_bandana: :gun_bandana:

[Redleg 0]

Me and da crew aint buggin, so don't be hate'n ... dis ya later dawg..

[Steeldrifter 0]

Deeeeeeez Nutzzzzzzz

 

 

 

:hyst:

[Redleg 0]

A'ight gotcho 411 rychea.... all dat bling aaint funna hep yass when I start poppin caps and smoke yass....

[Steeldrifter 0]

ahhhhhh...............Word to your mother

 

 

 

[bentflyrod 0]

Your mama!!!!

 

BFR

 

:hyst: :hyst:

 

I don't be pushing you no jive. Cause you always be da man, SD. Straight up.

 

[Alex C. 0]

I love it when I'm down there, I gotta admit I'm a fan of I-94 though, drivin 90 is the only way to go.

[bentflyrod 0]

I worked downtown for 2 1/2 years! I had some really interesting rides to and from work!

 

BFR

[Alex C. 0]

I lived in the CLeveland Ohio aea for a little while and a couple of my buds came down from Michigan. Well I decided I would hitch a ride with them to live back in Michigan. Well they both had family in the detroit area. The dude with the car ended up leaving me and the other guy down there, just ditched us. So me and the other guy stayed with his aunt for a few days. She had a bottle of 180 proof something or another in the licquor cabinet and we found it :devil: Well she found out right away(I wonder why ) and took both of us to the Macomb Mall and just dropped us off, right before it got dark. SO here me and my bud are at the main door there, I have like 3 suit cases, an army gear bag full of stuff, adn a backpack, this stuff had everything I owned in it. We're just sitting there, without a clue what to do. I was 17 and he was 19. I ended up having to call mom who lived 3 1/2 hours away to come get us. That was the longest 3 1/2 hours of my life. Then when she got there she wouldn't let him come with us cause she didn't like that we always got in trouble together. I felt so bad leaving him there He ended up getting a job as a cook at some resteraunt there, saved enough money to buy a car and get back home.

[Steeldrifter 0]

I gotta admit I'm a fan of I-94 though, drivin 90 is the only way to go.

 

 

 

You should try Outer drive or French road at about 1am doin 130+ with a helicopter spot light on ya

 

 

not that I would know :whistle: besides I'm much better now *twitch twitch*

[SullyTM 0]

You guys need to get out of your zip code :hyst: I-75, 94, 96, 275, 375!!?? When I visit family in Lansing I fly into Dee-troit and marvel at your highway systems...They are like a drive in the country on a Sunday afternoon Come on out to the San Francisco/East Bay area and take a spin on the 880 and Bay Bridge maze at rush hour(which is ALL day long). You'll come to appreciate how easy you have it. And as far as the 'vacation' environment of beautiful Motown...try Richmond and/or Hunter's Point/Bayview District in San Francisco. Nuff said!

 

steeldrifter...130mph Premium or Unleaded? SullyTM

[yodafly 0]

I thought you need a hot pink speedo and roller skates to get around in san francisco. :devil:

[Blueman89 0]

I thought you need a hot pink speedo and roller skates to get around in san francisco. :devil:

 

:nono: :shocking: :devil: