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Fly Tying
Steeldrifter

Joke of the day

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Late yesterday afternoon when the sun went down I stayed up all night wondering what happened to it. Early this morning IT DAWNED ON ME!

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Bob finally decided to tie the knot with his long-time girlfriend.
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was tying some flies for fun. His new wife was standing there at the bench watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally spoke, "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it's time you quit spending all your time out here in the shop.
You probably should just consider getting rid of all this fly tying stuff and that stupid rusty old Jeep.
Bob got a horrified look on his face.
She said, "Darling, what's wrong?"
He replied, "For a minute there you were starting to sound just like my ex-wife."
"EX WIFE!" she screamed, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!"

Bob replied: "I wasn't!"

 

Michael

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LOL Great line and so true for almost everybody, essequamvideri.

 

I like spiders ... I get up close and take pictures of the prettiest ones, etc. But I still get the heebie jeebies when I walk full into a big web.

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I love how Americas first Gold medal this year was a TEENAGE GIRL in a SHOOTING event. Can't get any more awesome than that.

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I was sitting at the local bar today, waiting on my drink when all of a sudden someone slapped me on the ass. I turned around to see a huge ugly heifer of a woman who bellowed out " hey sexy, how bout givin me your number?" I thought about it for a second and said "you got a pen?" She replied "well of course!" and I said "well you ought to get back there before the farmer realizes you've escaped!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

My dental surgery is Monday...

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I remember laughing about guys taking ladders out into the ocean...Turns out the joke was on me.

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A woman arrived at a party and while scanning the guests she spotted an attractive man standing alone.

She approached him, smiled, and said "Hello, my name is Carmen."

"That's a beautiful name' he replied. "Is it a family name?"

"No" she replied. "As a matter of fact, I gave it to myself. It represents the things I enjoy the most - men and cars. Therefore, I chose Carmen."

"What's your name?" she asked.

His answer "B.J. Titsengolf."

 

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This last one makes me think about the famous actor Penis Van Lesbian, better known by his artistic name Dick Van Dyke.

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I just can't resist the oldies but goodies ... even in jokes ...

 

My Favorite Animal
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.
My parents told me to always tell the truth.
I did.
Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
He said they love animals very much.
I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.
I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken..
She sent me back to the principal's office.
He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
I don't understand.
My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.
Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.
I told her, "Colonel Sanders."
Guess where I am now....

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