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Fly Tying
Steeldrifter

Joke of the day

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I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

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What's the difference between people from Dubai and those from Abu Dhabi?

Those from Dubai don't like the Flintstones.

Those from Abu Dhabi do.

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Airplane....

 

Guy had to fly but hadn't flown much. He boarded and took his seat.

He thought wouldn't be great if a pretty girl would end up adjacent seat.

Sure enough here comes a beauty sashsaing down the aisle and sits down next to him.

"Hot ****!" He thought.

"Hi there fellow" she broke the silence

"Where are you headed?" He said

"Oh, I'm headed to Chicago to a nymphomaniac convention to give a seminar " she replied.

He was flabergasted but held his composure, "What is your subject?"

She replied, "I'm going to discuss virility in men."

"How is that?" He questioned

"Well the most endowed men seem to be the native Americans, Indians. The most passionate men are usually Jewish. But for the overall greatest sex is with southern farmboy or cowboy. By the way what is your name? My name is Sheila."

He exclaimed, "Ah....Ah...My name is TONTO GOLDSTINE!!!!!but everybody calls me ah....ah....BUBBA!!!"

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A motorist hits a dove on his way home. The dove looks dead, but the motorist takes it home, and puts it in a cage to take care of it...

When the dove finally wakes up, it looks around, finds itself in the cage and thinks... S***...! I must have killed the motorist...!

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Ole & Sven are down at the local watering hole one night,

drinkin' and yakkin'........

 

Ole: "Ya know der Sven, I tink my Lena, I tink she may have died, yup."

 

Sven: "Uff da! By golly now Ole, what makes you tink dat?"

 

Ole: "Well ya know, the sex is dah same but the dishes keep piling up, yup."

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Don't mess me up with car jokes.

It's already hard enough with parking in the driveway and driving on the parkway.

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