Joke of the day

[flytire 0]

[cphubert 0]

1 hour ago, flytire said:

😲😳

[redband02 0]

Everyone told Sam not to sing

But Samsung anyway

[redband02 0]

I was robbed at a gas station in MT last night. After my hands stopped trembling. I managed to call the cops and they were quick to respond and calmed me down..... My money is gone.. the police asked me if I knew who did it..I said yes.. it was pump number 9…

[niveker 0]

Hate to admit it, but I'm enjoying these.  

[mikechell 0]

7 hours ago, redband02 said:

yes.. it was pump number 9

HAHAHA ...  LOVE THIS ONE !!!

[redband02 0]

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

[niveker 0]

LOL - that sounds about right.  

[flytire 0]

[redband02 0]

A logger went to cut down a talking tree in the forest

The tree said you can't cut me down, I am a talking tree

The logger said you may be a talking tree but you'll dialogue 

[redband02 0]

Dad, what's a forklift?

food son, food

[niveker 0]

1 hour ago, redband02 said:

Dad, what's a forklift?

food son, food

LOL - reminds me of my Gramps, two of his favorites were hammerfor and henweigh.  

[SalarMan 0]

This has been around a while...but here goes.

A pirate with a peg leg, a hook for one hand and patch over one eye walks into his regular dockside bar after being at sea for quite a spell. The bartender looks at him and says "good heavens what happened to you?"

"Well" the pirate says "we were in a battle with another ship and a cannonball took my leg off at the knee. My shipmates got me fixed up and now I have the peg leg. You know pirates...wasn't long before we were in another skirmish and my opponent in that fight cut my hand off. Once again my shipmates fixed me up and now I have the hook."

The bartender asks "and the eyepatch? What happened?" The pirate said he was on deck and looking at the bright blue sky when a seagull crapped right in his eye.

The bartender chuckled and said "that's no reason for the patch."

"You may be right" the pirate says..."but it was my first day with the hook."

[niveker 0]

👍 - The classics are always good for a chuckle. 

[Gene L 0]

An old cowboy goes into a barbershop to get a shave.  He tells the barber that his face is so wrinkled he can't get a smooth shave.  The barber says, "I get this all the time.  Try this."  He gives the cowboy a rubber ball about the size of golfball. "Put this in your mouth and it will make it easier to get a good shave because it will stretch out the wrinkles."  The cowboy does and it's the cleanest shave he's had in years.  He is well pleased and asks the barber.  "That's great.  What if someone swallows the ball."  The barber says, "they bring it back in a couple of days."