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oatka

I'm a Dead Man

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OK, so I admit it. I'm not the best partner one could ask for. I admit I don't always spend quality time with my significant other. Honestly, it's probably been a few months since we actually did anything together. I know, I should make more of an effort to spend more time with her, but life is hard and I've got other responsibilities that I must take care of. So, unfortunately she gets neglected. I'm not proud of this, but it's true. I do think about her all the time and really want to spend more time together, but it's just so difficult to find the time. I know, I know, you'll all say "you have to MAKE the time for her" and you will be correct in saying so, I'm just not capable at this point to make the necessary changes in my life that she deserves.

 

I have been working on a project for her, to show her how much I care, but that project too gets neglected and so it's almost a lost cost.

 

Trust me, I don't want her to think that I don't love her, I do. She's been great to me over the years. We've had great times together, mostly good, only a few times were there rough spots, but for the most part it's been years of bliss. Before her, there was another. Heck, who hasn't had another before......but I digress. My previous love was nice too, but she had room for improvement (if you know what I mean) and that's why it never worked out for us.

 

So, last night I had this great idea. See, as most of you know there is a storm that is pounding the country's east side. I'm in upstate NY and the snow started falling around 6pm last night. I knew it would be deep by the time I got up to go to work at 4am, so I figured since many people at work might not make it in, I thought I'd bring her to the office with me so we could spend some quality time together. So, last night I packed her supplies in a nice travel case, and tossed her inside with them. Then, tragedy hit. I got up, grabbed the bag with my sweetheart inside, walked outside to the garage, hung her up on the hook next to the shovel and then proceeded to the OTHER SHOVEL!!! that's right, I hung her up next to shovel #1, and then walked over to shovel #2. When I finished digging out, I went back and put shovel #2 back, and never thought twice about my dear love hanging from the hook across the garage. Now I feel I've done something that I will never be forgiven for....I'VE LEFT HER ON A HOOK IN THE GARAGE TO FREEZE TO DEATH!!! My only hope is that she'll be so frozen when I get home that she'll forget what happened.....for the last few months....and things will be back to the way they use to be years ago when we first met.

 

Please pray for me and my vise.......what.....you thought I was talking about my wife? No No No, I was talking about my VISE!!! My wife is toasty and warm, probably sleeping or feeding the cute little boy she gave birth to a few weeks ago! She's great and I'd never leave her hanging on a hook in the garage!

 

;)

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I suggest you take her outside when get home get on one knee and carefully plant a long sloppy wet kiss on her shiniest of parts.....maybe slip a little tounge.....if she kisses you back and doesn't let go....then all is forgiven......

 

Upstate here too.....the drive was an adventure this morning

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:hyst:

 

Great idea Vern-O...but she's a Danvise, and I'm not sure it will turn out the way you hope!

 

:hyst:

 

 

 

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Well my wonderful wife took a picture of it so everyone can join in her pain. Of course, I don't know if my wife rescued her. I guess I get to be the hero....uh....thug....when I get home.

 

IPB Image

 

She's hopefully warm in that blue bag. I knew I should have tossed some hair and feathers in with her. :wallbash:

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That new KY lube that feels warm when you blow on it might be just the ticket for her rotating parts. Every time you wrap, gently blow and warm her up.

 

Cheers,

Michael

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LOL, I was thinkin the whole time I read this story..." Man this fella has a really small wife" :blink: :dunno:

 

 

Dustin

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