thats what friends are for ?

[flygirl 0]

I have a need to vent & since I can't speak to anyone without screaming...I thought I'd bang away at my computer keys till they break......Ready ? what would you do if your best friend of 8 yrs....yep..a 'best friend' ..who is having a rough time in her life(family deaths, realtionships, jobs..) and suggested a trip west. Being a person who values friendships & seeing that this friend was just short of taking the gas pipe, I say O.K......you really need a break so I'll check out flights if you're sure you're going. "yes I'm going" ...I heard this 3 times....bought the tickets, found an affordable lodge, got the car rental........the credit card is smokin at this point.......she e-mails me 2 days ago..."I didn't realize this trip was going to be so expensive....I think we should cancel" CANCEL !!!!!!! Three weeks from now I planned on being in MT. flyfishing & sippin beers with my best friend , trying to help her cope with lifes problems. NOW....since it is late & I'll lose my $1100 for the lodge..I need to come up with another $500 to cover 'single occupancy', plus pay for the car rental myself. So..knowing that my friend is financially 'squeeking' will I have a good time if she decides to go ??? OR...will I have a good time if she doesn't go , & drink more than I should because I am the sort of person who 'broods'. If I were to send a photo of my A.. , could everyone reading this please print it out & kick it as hard as you can........or would I be thrown off this site......better not because I like this site...

[sulfernut 0]

That's a tough one!! You are between a rock and a hard place for sure!! As far as the a_ _ picture goes,I think the moderators might make an exception! ( especially if it was a good picture!)

 

Good Luck,and have fun anyway!!

 

Sulphernut

 

 

[flygirl 0]

Thanks for the chuckle ....I needed it.

[zip 0]

I think you may just need to sit back and take a few DEEP breaths have a beer and a ciggarette,and stand still and think.Always helps me.

 

BTW PM the pic :j_k:

[JayMorr 0]

Flygirl,

 

I feel your pain! If I was in the same boat I would continue to go on the trip and probably solo. More often than not, a little alone time can be a great thing. Laugh it off. If your friend decides to go, rub it in a bit and than squash it while at the bar. But let it be known if it happens again .....

 

Have fun!

 

 

 

 

[Redwings1 0]

That is pretty much how my trip to the Housatonic ended up last year. It sucks to start with, but once you get past the extra cash you will have a great time. Get out there and enjoy...and take a camera for the rubbing it in later

[deeky 0]

First, I don't mean this to get preachy, but it might come off as such. I'm just concerned about you and your friend.

 

If she is really as close to suicide as your post suggests, a fishing trip out west is not going to cure or even truly reduce her issues. She needs professional help. I spent years avoiding and supressing issues, taking little adventures to 'clear out' all of those issues. It didn't work. Never will. By all means, don't ditch your friend, but don't enable her emotional unhealthiness. Take the trip and get her into a doctor if she hasn't already. While there may be some social stigma attached to seeing a shrink, there shouldn't be. Would we try to cure chestpains with a fishing trip? Only if you want it to be your last. Why do we do the same with mental health? As someone who has tried both approaches, make sure your friend gets the right help so you can have many more trips in the future.

 

And now I'm stepping off my soapbox. Thank you.

[Hot Tuna 0]

Well said Deeky....my best friend killed himself in 1977 and not a day goes by that I don't think about whether there was something I could have done differently to help him. Don't put yourself in that spot Flygirl.

Good luck with everything,

God Bless Us All

[Guest]

flygirl

Now that you've vented, you have three weeks to get the positive thinking hat on , and get ready for a great MONTANA TRIP.Do you have any other great friends or family that you would want to spend time with.

I've been to Yellowstone and Glacier Park a couple times, they are about 320 miles apart, and let me tell you , it wouldn't be too hard selling a trip to either or both places. Great fishing, awesome photograhy chances, geysers, falls , buffalo, elk , you name it.

put your thinking hat, get thye creative juices flowing and have the trip of your life.

 

Have a good one

Pat Carroll

[beaverfsu 0]

Obvisousley, I like a$$ pictures...

 

Moving on--Deeky and Hot Tuna-my hat off to both of you-very important point. Been there, done that, have the t-shirt.

 

Flygirl-My .02-it doesn't matter how, but get with your friend-face to face-quickly. Money and vacation aside-a best friend is more important than either. She needs you around her-although she don't know it but she has already reached out by sugguesting the trip. When you see her, you will know if she need prof help.

 

As for venting-have at it!

 

Tight lines.

[madkasel 0]

Here's hoping your venting did the trick and you're calming down.

 

It truly sucks for you, but I think you can salvage your trip if you put your mind to it! I hope as well that you can salvage your friend.

[saltydancindave 0]

Hopefully you have another close best friend that needs a summer vacation & will join you in having a good time, if not there's probably a number of others that would jump at an invitation to accompany you while you try to forget about the person that has caused you this anxiety & stress.

[Chase Creek 0]

Deeky & Hot Tuna - Good advice. Priorities. There will be plenty of chances to go annoy the fish, take care of friends first.

[sulfernut 0]

Sound advice from Deeky and "The Tuna"!!!

Sulphernut

[flygirl 0]

Thanks for all the good thoughts everybody...but my pattern with friends is this. I knock myself out for the friends I have but they all tend to push me aside & take friendship for granted. They don't value it as much. But thats O.K....to some extent...it just wears me out. But an update on this situation is that my friend just does not think I have a right to be upset over this ...& if I'm going to be that way then so be it.

My therapist always said I make a poor choice of friends......