BigDaddyHub 0 Report post Posted May 16, 2009 SOUTHERN WOMEN Southern women appreciate their natural assets: Clean skin. A winning smile. That unforgettable Southern drawl. Southern women know their manners: 'Yes, ma'am.' 'Yes, sir.' 'Why, no, Billy!' Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions: 'Y'all come back!' 'Well, bless your heart.' 'Drop by when you can.' 'How's your Momma?' Southern women know their summer weather report: Humidity Humidity Humidity Southern women know their vacation spots: The beach The rivuh The crick Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August: Colorful hi-heel sandals Strapless sun dresses Iced sweet tea with mint Southern women know everybody's first name: Honey Darlin' Shugah Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts: Fried Green Tomatoes Driving Miss Daisy Steel Magnolias Gone With The Wind Southern women know their religions: Baptist Methodist Football Southern women know their country breakfasts: Red-eye gravy Grits Eggs Country ham Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm: Chawl'stn S'vanah Foat Wuth N'awlins Addlanna Southern women know their elegant gentlemen: Men in uniform. Men in tuxedos Rhett Butler Southern girls know their prime real estate: The Mall The Country Club The Beauty Salon Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins: Having bad hair and nails Having bad manners Cooking bad food More Suthen-ism's: Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't 'HAVE' them, you 'PITCH' them. _____ Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up'a mess.' _____ Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of 'yonder.' _____ Only a Southerner knows exactly how long 'directly' is, as in: 'Going to town, be back directly.' _____ Even Southern babies know that 'Gimme some sugar' is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. _____ All Southerners know exactly when 'by and by' is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. _____ Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'! _____ Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between 'right near' and 'a right fer piece.' They also know that 'just down the road' can be 1 mile or 20. _____ Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and Po white trash. _____ No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. _____ A Southerner knows that 'fixin' can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. _____ Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines... And when we're 'in line,' we talk to everybody! _____ Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage. _____ In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural. _____ Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. _____ Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes is NOT a breakfast food. _____ When you hear someone say, 'Well, I caught myself lookin',' you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! _____ Only true Southerners say 'sweet tea' and 'sweet milk.' Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. 'Sweet milk' means you don't want buttermilk. _____ And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, 'Bless her heart', and go your own way. _____ To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart! _____ And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language! _____ And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'all's front porch that reads 'I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could.' If you're a Northern transplant, bless your little heart, fake it! We know you got here as fast as you could. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lykos33 0 Report post Posted May 16, 2009 "Lawd a' Mercy" I miss muh Floreeda/ Alabamy home, and folks that knows how to talk!!! :down: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JSzymczyk 0 Report post Posted May 17, 2009 wanna trade? there are parts of the south which are very nice, or so I've been told, and there are parts of the south which are ... the opposite. If you like public access to decent fishing water, you would do well to stay away from southeast Alabama. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fishinbub 0 Report post Posted May 23, 2009 i couldna sed it better ma self Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BigDaddyHub 0 Report post Posted May 23, 2009 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TerryLee 0 Report post Posted May 23, 2009 That about sums it up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chuckandducker 0 Report post Posted May 24, 2009 only southerners now the difference between Redneck, good ol boys and Po white trash? Is it a bad thing if there is "good Ol boys" up north? Cause me and my friends well we fall into all three of those categories! cheers chuckandducker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bryan J 0 Report post Posted May 24, 2009 BigDaddy is preachin the gospel, lol. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyBrookTrout 0 Report post Posted June 3, 2009 Only we Southerners know the utter truth of: Southern by the grace of God! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Arkansas Mike 0 Report post Posted June 3, 2009 That pretty much describes my mom, grandma, sister, 2 nieces and every girl I've ever dated. Well...except one who was from Wenatchee, WA. And no, I've never dated any of the first five. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BigDaddyHub 0 Report post Posted June 6, 2009 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
troutguy 0 Report post Posted June 6, 2009 I am what is called, "A Damn Yankee" that's a Yankee who moved south and stayed. I would not move back to NY if you paid me. I can fish year round for decent trout. That should be enough, but back in NY I paid almost $5,000 in taxes on my house. Here I pay $800 on a house and an acre lot. And no there are no wheels on my house nor will my front porch collapse and kill six dogs. I live a 1/2 mile from Lake Wylie and the marina where I keep the sailboat (couldn't afford one with NY taxes). Granted bass fishing is number one (I don't, those folks are too serious) and we host the national crappie tournament here so trout fishing is an after thought for most. I love trout fishing in December in 65 degree weather. We fished one day in Brevard and there was 6 inches of snow that had fallen the night before and people called it "near blizzard". It was 40 degrees and most snow melted by end of day. Try that on the Beaverkill. Not Southern by birth, Southern by choice...... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted June 7, 2009 In Florida they say all of those same things with a Spanish accent. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Arkansas Mike 0 Report post Posted June 7, 2009 I would not move back to NY if you paid me. I can fish year round for decent trout. That should be enough, but back in NY I paid almost $5,000 in taxes on my house. Here I pay $800 on a house and an acre lot. And no there are no wheels on my house nor will my front porch collapse and kill six dogs. I live a 1/2 mile from Lake Wylie and the marina where I keep the sailboat (couldn't afford one with NY taxes). Not Southern by birth, Southern by choice...... Yeah, TroutGuy, but you gave up the Yankees and the "Paulies" from Orange County. We born Southerners welcome you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
troutguy 0 Report post Posted June 7, 2009 I would not move back to NY if you paid me. I can fish year round for decent trout. That should be enough, but back in NY I paid almost $5,000 in taxes on my house. Here I pay $800 on a house and an acre lot. And no there are no wheels on my house nor will my front porch collapse and kill six dogs. I live a 1/2 mile from Lake Wylie and the marina where I keep the sailboat (couldn't afford one with NY taxes). Not Southern by birth, Southern by choice...... Yeah, TroutGuy, but you gave up the Yankees and the "Paulies" from Orange County. We born Southerners welcome you. Sorry, still Yankees fan. Never a Paulies fan. They are not liked locally at all. Kind of like how the neighbors think of Jon and Kate. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
