Stupidest Thing You've Done at the Bench

[Sean Juan 0]

Waiting in the ER last night I remembered a quote my father would often say to me when I would get frustrated or disappointed by mistakes I made casting or on math quizes.

 

"Always remember when it comes to fishing you can't make a mistake I haven't done a million times already."

 

The perfect mix of sympathy, support and bonding that makes sons want to be like their Dads.

 

I always think about this when things go amiss.

 

In contrast, my wife a nurse, who I met at the hospital when I was admitted for hypothermia because I waded a little too deep fishing in February and then didn't have the sense to stop because hey they were biting, expresses her love a bit differently.

 

"YOU'RE SO STUPID!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!!!"

 

Ah romance warms the heart.

 

So it was with some trepidation that I made my way up from the garage with a bodkin needle expertly placed through my index finger and into the bone of my middle finger to where my better half was watching TV - some story on the Lifetime network about a nice woman and the man who ruined her life I believe it was entitled "Mrs. Everyone."

 

I hid my mangled appendage behind my back, waiting for a commercial break.

 

"Honey I have some bad news..."

 

"OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DOG!!!!" She got up and called for our Gold Retriever - who had its head up my ass like it always does when I walk from one room to another.

 

"She's fine." Which actually is a lie, the dog is clearly retarded.

 

"Well whats the problem then."

 

In a manner thats become all too common I held out my hand and said, "I hurt myself."

 

Its nice having a nurse in the house but its also a pain because she always insists on tetnus shots even though I've yet to go more that a few months between shots and metal tearing flesh incidents.

 

So its nearly four hours between the nurse at the desk saying "You did WHAT???" and the doctor who eventually injects me saying "You did WHAT???"

 

Once home the wife takes my vise away because I'm grounded from fly tying for a month - joke's on her though because I keep a spare in the truck I mean seriously what does she think I am an idiot or something.

 

I felt bad the next day - a dull throb will do that. So I called my mother - my father passed away when I was 11 - just to find out if the quote was still valid.

 

Parents keep secrets from their kids, to protect them, to shield them from life's hard truths, my mother was no different. I grew up with a mother who constantly told us how intelligent, hard working and dedicated the man who once asked me to take the fall for breaking a bedroom window playing indoor football was.

 

I told her of my misadventure and she sighed and replied.

 

"Well one time he drove that pick through his finger and pinned it to the desk, I didn't know what else to do so I tried to cut the pin with a wire cutters but your father wouldn't let me break his toy."

 

Wow, Buddah would be proud like father like son, using the same bodkin the same stupid way (to clear glue out of a bobbin) gets much the same injury. I can only hope that my son resists the urges to think things out before attempting them.

 

 

[Steeldrifter 0]

Thats a great story

 

I've never really "hurt" myself at the bench but about the worst thing i did was i dumped my box of hooks that had probaly around 600 hooks in it all over the carpet in the den one time. Wasn't really me that got hurt but lets just say that the Ex-girlfriend walked through after i had picked up all the hooks (or so i thought) and she "found one" with her foot never heard the end of that one.

 

SD

[Guest]

Great Story Sean!

[Guest]

I am really curious what you were doing with your bodkin to create that much pressure it went into the bone? Sheesh. Were you trying to do the samurai "bodkin picking up bead" trick and miss?

 

Hmmmmmm, haven't done much really stupid at the bench, outside of it while fishing and hunting, oh God, won't even bring them up. LOL. But have had plenty of cuts and jabs over the years. Mostly feeding beads onto hooks. Plus, shaving deer hair and slipping with the razor (luckily not bad knock on wood). But worse thing I ever did was on my old flytying bench. Was before my kids were born, and was still considered "newlyweds". Had sat down and was tying at the bench. Was working on my then new griffin rotary. Had put my arm on the desk before I start tying, when I realized it wouldn't move. (luckily, this wasn't my fault completely). Come to find out my wife at the time (thankfully an ex now lol) had used my superglue I had and left it out. I assume it was the dogs that hit the desk, but somehow one of my books feel over onto the glue and it had made a nice film over the desk. Only problem, it had dried up just enough that it was tacky AND ready for permanent lockdown. If it was a bit wetter or dryer, I wouldn't have stuck. Well, just a few seconds with my arm on the bench starting to get stuff ready sealed me down. COULD NOT MOVE! Even worse, my wife at the time had left for work. Didn't want to break my desk apart, and didn't want to sit there for a good 8-10 hours until she got home (she worked nights). So literally unloaded the desk with my free hand. (thank god this isn't my current desk, or I'd be up a creek). Once the desk was free, picked it up with my other hand, and headed upstairs. Grabbed a mixture of nailpolish remover and a few other things (couldn't remember what it was that released it). A good mixture of the stuff released me. LOL. But the smell was unbearable (think I made some sort of nerve gas mixing all that stuff up spreading it over my desk). Spent the rest of the night cleaning up.

 

 

[Dble Haul 0]

Stupidist thing I've ever done at the bench? That's easy.

 

Tie a trout fly.

 

[Guest]

Amen Brother!!!!!!

[Fly1 0]

All those flies I tied in my first year of tying. Man those were some stupid looking flies.

 

Ken

[Guest]

Sean that post is hilarious!! You have great delivery!

[vices 0]

Well written sean, the stupidest thing I've done at the bench would have to be the black laquer incident.. This was done by dressing in my nicest casual wear(kaki's and an expensive white shirt) I was headed to my grand fathers place and he had asked me to bring him up a salmon fly for one of his friends. Without thinkin twice i said i had one laying around, whitch i didn't. With the thought of not wanting to be late for dinner, I ran to the desk.. whipped up a halfast salmon fly and opened up the black laquer to finish... whoops... The rest is history along with my favorite kaki's and an expensive white shirt... I actually wear paiting clothes when I'm using the stuff now...

[Toneloc 0]

Dumbest thing I've done wasn't at the bench, but getting ready to start fishing. I was in college and my Dad had packed up my rod for me the weekend before. He used a couple plastic "zip" ties to hold it together. So me and a buddy drove about an hour to get to the stream before classes one day (didn't have class till the afternoon). I got my rod out and put my pocket knife into the plastic zip tie to break it off. In one swipe I cut through the tie and into my finger. It cut my index finger from the side and even cut part way into the back of my finger nail. A guy in the parking lot saw the whole episode and was nice enough to give me his first aid kit. I wrapped up my finger and went fishing (feeling bad that buddy just drove 1hr and we hadn't done any fishing yet). Seven steelies later it was time to go. I called my mom (who is also a nurse) and she said well just wait till after class then come home and meet me at the hospital. About 12 hrs after the cut happened I made it to the hospital. The doctor touched the flap of skin with a piece of plastic and I couldnt feel a thing. 5 stiches and a couple weeks later my finger was heeled, but I never have got feeling back on the side of my finger. It was O' so worth a great day of fishing though! And I still have a scar to remember that day by! LOL.

 

Tony

 

P.S. Always cut away from apendages, not towards.

 

 

[Guest]

Nice stories. I have never done anything too stupid, but did have any unfortunate evening last winter. I had a few friends over for a few (actually many) beers after work. After they left I decided I had to tie some flies. I was working through some standard dry flies over the winter, and choose to tie up some size 18 BWO. I use a Renzetti Travaler with cam jaws. I attempted to put the first hook into the jaws, and when I went to tighten it down, it shot out somewhere. The second shot straight up and landed on the desk. My third attempt shot out somewhere also. I eventually did get a hook to stay but I keep breaking the 8/0 thread. So I gave up and had another beer. A few weeks later I found missing hook number one while I was walking around in socks. Missing hook number two was found around a week after that when I was walking around bare foot. It was lodged in my heel, past the barb. I had to get my roommate to grab the foreceps and rip the tiny hook out of my foot.

 

Please remember folks: drinking and tying don't pay.

[vices 0]

LMAO... new site slogan----> Don't drink and tye... I know what you mean todder I was tryin to tye some up friday night after 8 or 9 beers I still cant find my vice

[uncletube 0]

On my first trip to the Pierre Marquette I screwed up big time.

I went with my friends Jimmy and Mike to Baldwin for the king run in the fall of '90.

Being an experinced Fly fisher I had some what of " I know it all " attitude when it came to wadding.

When we arrived the first morning and parked the car , I could hardly wait to get into the stream and start fishing. While we were rigging up Jimmy said" Tube you need to be careful here, the stream has a strong current and isn't like wadding in Missouri and Arkansas" I looked at the stream and then back at Jimmy and said " I aint no flat lander, Jimmy" , This of course had the ring of over confidence that even I should have noticed. He in turn gave me that " Ok, we will see " look. Half way between the car and the high bank hole I saw several large males at the tail of a nice hole and I decided to start here. I waded out to the edge of the hole and began to cast and at about the time I was ready to lay the cast down the current had taken all the gravel from under my feet and I went down like the twin towers. fortunately there was a local guy fishing just up stream from me and had saw the whole thing he came running and fished my fat ass out of the drink. Of course my two partners saw the whole thing and were on the bank howling. I was too damn embarassed to say anything to them and to add insult to injury the guy that fished me out looked at me and said" First time wadding, huh?"

I learned 4 valuable lessons that day

1 I dont know everything about wadding

2 Always wear a wadder belt

3 Keep your Pentax in a waterproof bag

4 A shot of humility is good for Ol' Tube from time to time

Be careful at the vise and glad to hear you have medical help in case you aren't!

Tube

 

[SDHflyfisher 0]

left a size 10 dry fly hook in the vice once and i went to sit down and had the eye of the hook go straight into my arm

 

this is coming from the kid who used a wood chisel to get some glue off a desk and ended up putting it in his hand and need two stiched and had som nerve damage luckily it has almost completely healed so i have feeling in almost all of my left index finger back

[Guest]

Did you say the eye of the hook went into your arm?????