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Fly Tying
David Legg

Abducted by the Borg

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I have been under the weather for a couple of days, suffering from a cold. While at work, I began to experience a pronounced tightness across my chest, cand significant shortness of breath. In fact, I felt unable to catch my breath for over twenty minutes, and decided to check into the local ER to make sure I was ok. At the age of fifty, I see a lot of guys my age going down to heart attacks. Besides... I have really good medical insurance. What I don't have is a spare heart.

 

So, I drove myself over to the hospital, stopped at the desk and described my symptoms. Next thing you know, I go from standing at the desk to being whisked away in a wheelchair to laying on a hospital bed in a flimsy gown with what appear to be Borg implants and tubes all over me, with a huge part of the collective toiling away around me. After two and a half hours, a detailed EKG, a monitoring EKG, numerous BP tests, several heart enzyme blood tests, a chest x-ray and numerous visits from ER doctors, nurses, and someone that might not even have worked for the hospital, they finally told me that all the tests looked great. My EKGs where beautiful, my blood pressure was fine, my heart enzyme tests were perfect, my Oxygen was at 98% (a high A, I guess, unless it's graded on a tough curve), my chest x-ray looked wonderful, all the exams looked good... and what I had was a case of asthmatic bronchitis. Not serious, but the doctor prescribed an inhaler if my breathing difficulty reoccurs.

 

Numerous thoughts can cross your mind in an hour and a half of being subjected to the intense scrutiny and ministrations of the hive. First, I needed to enjoy the stay. If all these new health care initiatives go through, I might never get that quality of treatment again. Second, this is exactly why fifty year old men drop dead of heart attacks before they will submit to going to the hospital. There is something rather disconcerting about having a nurse barely half your age tell you to take off all your clothes and put on a thing that essentially covers you about as well as an apron, but that she could leave the room if it would make you more comfortable. Ha! I was more comfortable leaving my underwear on under my gown, thank you very much. One of the benefits of being fifty, is in addition to being shy, I get to be ornery as well. No one gets to look at my behind unless I want them to. And I didn't see any need to have them look at it anyway... nothing wrong with my behind. Finally, those "Borg implants" aka heart monitor leads... they really stick. What a great adhesive. One of them only stuck to my chest hair though. (Which is weird, because I'm not that hairy... not nearly so much as I hoped I would grow up to be back when I was about ten years old.) Anyway, "one nurse said this is going to hurt... sorry," and took off a patch of chest hair with a nasty ripping sound. *ouch* Then she shaved that spot just to make sure she had a good place to reattach, and then missed the bulls-eye when she put the new lead on by about have the width of the lead. Are you kidding me? So when I got home I stilll had all these leads attached to me, and I got to peel off the others, but the one that hit the chest hair again had to be ripped off again. *ouch* again. Now I have a real nice welt on a strangely hairless patch on my chest. Talk about your cool souveniers! Plus there's the neat little bracelet. And my shiny new inhaler.

 

And they gave me some advice too. Get lots of rest, drink plenty of fluids, and go right back if I experience symptoms like that again. Remember, we are the Borg. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

 

Right.

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Glad to hear you're okay! Every now and then we all encounter events that seemingly change our lives forever, but fortunately, most of us live to write about it on a message board. I'm glad you're one of those people!

 

Now... go fishing!

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Glad to hear you're okay! Every now and then we all encounter events that seemingly change our lives forever, but fortunately, most of us live to write about it on a message board. I'm glad you're one of those people!

 

Now... go fishing!

 

LOL... that made me seriously laugh. Not sure if that's good for me. I just got out of the hospital you know! J/K... :lol:

Thanks!

David <><

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As a medical person I should tick my finger at you for driving yourself to the hospital vs calling an ambulance! Very glad to hear you're all well minus some chest hair. ER's aren't known for being gentle but they do get the job done. I guess its a bit of give and take. You give them some chest hair and they're happy to take it. Again glad to hear your still kicking strong.

 

Josh

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...You give them some chest hair and they're happy to take it.

 

Perhaps they are resourceful fly tyers too? :dunno: :hyst:

 

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As a medical person I should tick my finger at you for driving yourself to the hospital vs calling an ambulance! Very glad to hear you're all well minus some chest hair. ER's aren't known for being gentle but they do get the job done. I guess its a bit of give and take. You give them some chest hair and they're happy to take it. Again glad to hear your still kicking strong.

 

Josh

 

 

Remember the part about being fifty and ornery. :P

I remember being upset with an employee about twenty years ago who was about fifty back then. He drove himself to the hospital with some ugly symptoms... luckily he only had a hiatal hernia and some acid reflux. Apparently it can cause symptoms nearly identical to a heart attack.

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Being 52, I can relate. I hate hospitals and doctors about as much has I hate lawyers. Bot did have to go to one when I broke my shoulder. Getting in is hard, but once you're in they do a bang up job.

 

OK, "bang up job" might not be the right word here. <_<

 

Anyway, glad you're ok and can laugh about it. :)

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The following link is to an article in today's paper about a Chicago man who ignored his symptoms... until he passed out. Fortunately for him he was talking to the AT&T call center in Springfield, IL at the time.

 

http://www.sj-r.com/bakke/x2096601799/Dave...-customers-life

 

As an overweight 50+ year old I have to keep reminding myself "maybe this time it is not the same old aches and pains."

 

Glad you hear you are fine.

 

- Charlie

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David, glad you're OK! That's some funny stuff, you have a way with the narrative! I'm 54 and can relate to your story. I had asthma when I was a kid. I've also been in a couple of serious auto accidents, so I've been through the ER a few times, and I've had a few surgeries too. I used to be somewhat shy, but hospitals have a way of changing that! :o

 

I'm in good health as far as the ticker, but I still have aches & pains. They can be scary if you're not sure what the heck is causing them. :unsure:

 

I don't however have a problem with women half my age looking at my behind, or any other part of my anatomy. I kinda like it! :rolleyes:

 

A few months ago, I had a physical exam, and my doctor had to check some things while I stood spread eagle over the exam table if you know what I mean. My doctors a woman, so they bring in a witness, everyone is worried about liability these days, and the witness is a young girl orderly. There I was in nothing but a gown that don't fit & don't tie, and when the doctor told me to bend slightly & put my hands on the table, the gown just dropped to the floor. That poor girl turned red & put here face in the wall! I could tell she was embarrassed by the whole thing. Heck, It didn't bother me a bit, with what I've been through in hospitals. :lol:

 

When we were done I told them, that was fun, lets do it again next year! :yahoo:

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Glad you are ok.

 

The grading curve for the pulse ox is very steep.

 

97-100% normal

91-96% Mildly low on oxygen

85-90% Moderately low on oxygen

Les then 85% severely low on oxygen

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Glad to hear you are ok.

I had to go through our local ER a couple of weeks ago. I had been fighting the flue since about the 10th and my brother said i was just laying there gasping and shaking so he hauled me there. I don't know what my oxygen level was but they said it was low. I had the flue settle into plural pnumonia. At one point they said something about draining my lung (s?)...i think they were going to cut me open??? This is the second extremely bad bout i have had with the flue this winter...actually 1st was in Sept. or Oct. i think. At only 43 years old i am starting to worry about this. My doctor said that there was a chance that i may have damaged my heart from how sever it got, but they let me go after only 3 days and never said any more about it. I realy don't remember much of the first day but can recall that same Borg like feeling. Now i am just trying to catch-up with work and 2 swaps i am in. the problem is that i can't seem to move well enough to tie worth 2 cents, or remember what i am doing through work from one day to the next. Maybe it is more like Aliens and something is going to burst out of me. My face still feels like something is swelling up in my upper jaw and eyes. Hopefully they will figure that out when i go back next week.

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Glad to hear you are ok.

I had to go through our local ER a couple of weeks ago. I had been fighting the flue since about the 10th and my brother said i was just laying there gasping and shaking so he hauled me there. I don't know what my oxygen level was but they said it was low. I had the flue settle into plural pnumonia. At one point they said something about draining my lung (s?)...i think they were going to cut me open??? This is the second extremely bad bout i have had with the flue this winter...actually 1st was in Sept. or Oct. i think. At only 43 years old i am starting to worry about this. My doctor said that there was a chance that i may have damaged my heart from how sever it got, but they let me go after only 3 days and never said any more about it. I realy don't remember much of the first day but can recall that same Borg like feeling. Now i am just trying to catch-up with work and 2 swaps i am in. the problem is that i can't seem to move well enough to tie worth 2 cents, or remember what i am doing through work from one day to the next. Maybe it is more like Aliens and something is going to burst out of me. My face still feels like something is swelling up in my upper jaw and eyes. Hopefully they will figure that out when i go back next week.

 

Wow... you have it a lot worse than me. Not being able to breathe is a scary feeling. The doctor said that's a sign you need medical assistance immediately. In my case it's not serious. I'm more worried about you. I'll be praying for you.

 

And thank you everyone else for your comments and concerns. When you are ok it's easy to look back and laugh, but I wouldn't care to be going through that often. I'd be happy if its 25 or 30 years before I see that from the patient's point of view again.

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And they say something is wrong with our healthcare. Mr. Legg, I'm glad you're doing alright. Once again, I feel the need to repeat myself, "If people think healthcare is expensive now, wait until you see how much it costs when it's free."

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And they say something is wrong with our healthcare. Mr. Legg, I'm glad you're doing alright. Once again, I feel the need to repeat myself, "If people think healthcare is expensive now, wait until you see how much it costs when it's free."

 

So sadly true...

 

and thank you.

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