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28 replies to this topic

#1 Piker20

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Posted 11 October 2019 - 03:40 PM

OK so my kids, 13 and 11 (girls) have been using our old mobile phones for when they are out and about and for WhatsApp for free contact with some distant friends.
Im still linked via Google account to my old phone and so have discovered some rather 'ahem' interesting YouTube history.

We have a strict browser restriction through our WiFi hub but obviously youtube does not list some things as adult.

Now my question is, is it possible for a vid to show up in youtube history settings if it's not actually been watched? I doubt it is but want to be sure before I calmly and in a measured way, challange them tomorrow.
Matthew 25: 35-36 "Out of every 100 men, 10 shouldnt even be there, 80 are just targets, nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior and he will bring the others back. "No man ever steps in the same river twice"   Heraclitus, 5 B.C

Based Scottish Highlands. UK

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#2 mikechell

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Posted 11 October 2019 - 03:46 PM

I've never used a phone to surf the net.  On my Youtube account, there is nothing listed in my history that I haven't at least started.  BUT, even if I switch it off after a few seconds because it's not what I want, it still shows on my history.


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#3 Piker20

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Posted 11 October 2019 - 04:16 PM

Yeah what I thought. Guess tomorrow will be an interesting day. Luckily youtube is mostly stupid immature stuff and not porn but they need to know that's not the best educational avenue to look at stuff.
Matthew 25: 35-36 "Out of every 100 men, 10 shouldnt even be there, 80 are just targets, nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior and he will bring the others back. "No man ever steps in the same river twice"   Heraclitus, 5 B.C

Based Scottish Highlands. UK

MUSTAD The wise anglers choice.

#4 mikechell

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Posted 11 October 2019 - 04:25 PM

Yep, hopefully you've caught them young enough that they still listen to and HEAR you.


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#5 steeldrifter

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Posted 11 October 2019 - 04:50 PM

Not sure how phones work since I gave them up many many years ago, but I know on desktop pc it will only be there if you have clicked on it.

 

 

While I don't have kids myself I will just say, tryin be very tactful with this. At that age, especially being girls, this might really embarrass them badly to have Dad confront them about it. 


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#6 Piker20

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Posted 11 October 2019 - 05:11 PM

Not sure how phones work since I gave them up many many years ago, but I know on desktop pc it will only be there if you have clicked on it.
 
 
While I don't have kids myself I will just say, tryin be very tactful with this. At that age, especially being girls, this might really embarrass them badly to have Dad confront them about it. 

I agree but wife will go nuts so I'm hoping to skirt around it without creating ww3 in my house.
Matthew 25: 35-36 "Out of every 100 men, 10 shouldnt even be there, 80 are just targets, nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior and he will bring the others back. "No man ever steps in the same river twice"   Heraclitus, 5 B.C

Based Scottish Highlands. UK

MUSTAD The wise anglers choice.

#7 mikechell

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Posted 11 October 2019 - 05:57 PM

At that age, especially being girls, this might really embarrass them badly to have Dad confront them about it. 

GOOD !!

Scare and embarrass the hell out of them.  There are true stories of predators enticing girls through the internet.  I know a video isn't a chat room, etc.  But all that stuff starts somewhere.

 

Search engine  "sextortion".  Wife and I watched a crime show about it recently, but I can't remember the show's name.

http://www.missingki...sues/sextortion


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#8 Poopdeck

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Posted 11 October 2019 - 11:39 PM

Piker, if your going to give your children access to the internet, you would be wise to be more internet savvy then your kids. I raised two daughters and I will tell you to confront this head on without delay and to talk to your kids everyday about the perils of the internet and that friendships are not formed over the net. The internet caused more problems raising my children then everything else combined. Your wifi may be guarded but it would take a savvy 13 year old about three key strokes to defeat it. How about your neighbors Wifi? Are they password protected? there friends wifi, the wifi at Starbucks?

WhatsApp would not be on my kids phones ever, for any reason. Any internet based messaging app is a bad thing. WhatsApp cannot not be traced or tracked. Every pedophile in the world knows this and are on WhatsApp. Monkey, Kik, FB messenger, instagram, Snapchat, yahoo messenger and thousands of others are nothing but trouble for adolescences and teenagers and even some adults. If they want to text friends then get them a phone connected to a network through a service provider. They can text their hearts content and everything on their end can be tracked or traced.

I deal with this stuff everyday and have been since the internet became accessible to the common person. It became 100 times worse with smart phones and a parents belief that a 10 year old needs an IPhone. Trust me when I say you are about to enter hell on earth in the form of teenagers and their smart phones. Educate yourself and talk to your kids everyday about internet safety. No kidding, every day you have to pound this message home. To hell with concerns of embarrassment when the safety of children are at risk.

I cringe when seeing some of the posts from the younger ones on this very site. Sure it's a safe site but it's also a cross section of society. I see these youngsters putting there names out there, the town they live in, where they are going, and pictures of themselves wearing their school sweatshirts. If one has nefarious intentions they need nothing else to find you. Even worse is the old "PM me your address and I'll send you a patch of hair." It's that simple for your child to be exposed to those we guard them from when at the playground.

Good luck and Godspeed.

#9 steeldrifter

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Posted 11 October 2019 - 11:45 PM

 

It became 100 times worse with smart phones and a parents belief that a 10 year old needs an IPhone.

 

Totally agree with ya there for sure. It blows my mind to see such young kids with Iphones. Want to really be amazed? My best friend/fishing buddy Mark is a retired school teacher but he still does the teachers assistant thing for his wife whom is also a school teacher. The class they do is actually a "pre" preschool in a more affluent neighborhood. Kids are all about 3 years old. He's told me before that there are actually a handful of kids in the class that have not only Iphones, but tablets as well. This is 3 yr olds I'm talking about blink.png


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#10 Bill_729

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Posted 12 October 2019 - 01:44 AM

13 and 11 sounds very young to have cell phones to me.  If you want to eliminate the "temptation" then take the phones back.  But that's taking away freedoms which you granted them.  If you wish to grant them "freedoms with restrictions", then be clear about what the restrictions are.  If you want to "spy" on your kids, you won't win that war in the long run, IMHO. You'll just develop a distrustful situation. At some point, you just have to trust that you've instilled reasonable values in your kids, and "let them fly". But, I believe that action is inappropriate for 13 and 11 year olds.   I would provide the cell phones on a monitored "need to have" basis, and see how that goes (maybe that is what you are already doing).   Don't over-do any "embarrassment", implication is probably plenty of punishment. 

 

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#11 Piker20

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Posted 12 October 2019 - 05:18 AM

Cheers guys. Yep ours don't have free access to a phone and we're also a little luckier, perhaps that we home school so we have more contact 24/7 than otherwise might have. The oldest will comment on behaviour she sees in friends and seems to have a sensible head on her.
We don't have game consoles that use Internet and they don't go on forums or chat rooms.

I totally agree on the spying bit. Really not healthy and not what I want for my relationship with my kids. Only reason Ive noticed youtube is because the phone is logged in under my account so it showed up in my history.

As said, it comes down to instilling some Internet sense in them. Guess I'm not in the right generation and it doesn't hit home quite so much as 'don't talk to strangers' would.
Matthew 25: 35-36 "Out of every 100 men, 10 shouldnt even be there, 80 are just targets, nine are the real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior and he will bring the others back. "No man ever steps in the same river twice"   Heraclitus, 5 B.C

Based Scottish Highlands. UK

MUSTAD The wise anglers choice.

#12 Bill_729

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Posted 12 October 2019 - 06:53 AM

"Only reason Ive noticed YouTube is because the phone is logged in under my account so it showed up in my history."

 

 

Just so you know, it is very easy to delete the "viewing history" associated with your account.   More precisely, Google won't delete your viewing history from their database, but they will permanently hide your past viewing history from you if you click a couple of buttons. The same goes for "past searches".  Just scroll through the options and you will see how to do it--or do a Google-search for more details.

 

It sounds like you are raising great kids who will be great adults, so I think you shouldn't over-worry!

 

Maybe we need a updated version of "don't talk to strangers".  The premise was good, but we may need a version more appropriate for this century!   Use "common sense"?   I can see the dilemma...   I think that "Knowing where your kids are" goes a long way and you definitely seem to be on track with that, and you seem to have great relationships with them.  So, all I can say is "Keep it up!"  : )

 

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#13 Pyme Fisher

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Posted 12 October 2019 - 11:36 AM

Not knowing all of the details, obviously, I'll at least say that it could be totally inadvertent on their part regarding the YouTube stuff.

I've clicked on something totally legit and of interest, and then found that another video will auto-play after it is finished. If that happens, even if they realize it right away and hit Stop, it's already there in the "History".

It sounds like you gave a good handle on it though, and are proceeding sensibly. Good luck!

#14 Pyme Fisher

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Posted 12 October 2019 - 11:40 AM

"WhatsApp would not be on my kids phones ever, for any reason. Any internet based messaging app is a bad thing. ... If they want to text friends then get them a phone connected to a network through a service provider."

Actually, I have a very legitimate use for WhatsApp.

I can send videos that won't go via regular text due to size. And WhatsApp videos come through in much higher quality than regular text, if I can even get it to go via text.

#15 mikechell

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Posted 12 October 2019 - 12:21 PM

Too much coddling these days.   "Don't over-do any 'embarrassment'"  is the kind of thing I mean.

I don't have kids, made sure I couldn't.  All of my opinions on raising kids is based on my observations of the students who come through my school.

 

Embarrass them. EMBARRASS THEM !!!  Embarrassment is just the realization you've been caught doing something you shouldn't.

Punish them.  Grounding is still "legal".

Scold them.  SCOLD THEM !!!  They aren't your friends, they're your children.  YOU know better, because YOU have more experience.

 

Do everything you have to to make sure they live to "legal age".  If they hate you when they leave home, so be it but at least they leave home voluntarily.  Much better than leaving early due to a drug overdose, a predator, a pregnancy, etc.

I'm from that age when parents were parents ... NOT friends.  They kept us in line and grounded us.  They taught us everything they could.  Of the 6 kids in my family, half left as soon as they could "get out of this house!"  But ALL of us realized in the first few years away from home that, the older we got, the smarter our parents were.

 

I know modern society won't let you beat some sense into kids ... but that's not necessarily a good thing.


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