Jump to content
Fly Tying
Sign in to follow this  
Peterjay

2014 Tarpon Rookie Competition

Recommended Posts

OK folks, looks like 2013 ended without a winner in the fiercely fought Three Stooges Memorial Tarpon Tournament; guess we're gonna have to try again.

 

For those who have only recently stumbled into the FTF saltwater nest of undesirables, this is the second annual competition open to those anglers who have yet to catch an ADULT Atlantic tarpon on the fly. (we’re talking megalops atlanticus here - those puny pacific tarpon are no match for the likes of us) The first flyrodder who breaks his or her maidenhood on a silver king takes the grand prize: six finely-crafted tarpon flies from each of the other entrants. The rules are simple, and the decisions of the competition committee (me, myself, and I) are final. (in theory, appeals may be made to our resident tarpon expert, Captain Bob LeMay, although the likelihood that Bob would sully his reputation by becoming involved with this sordid affair is extremely remote)

 

It should be noted here that a tremendous amount of flat-out cheating took place during the 2013 contest, resulting in a disqualification list that took up 57 GB on my desktop’s already overburdened memory bank. Let's get it straight right off the bat: persons who have recently served or are currently serving prison terms for fraud, extortion, insider trading, performance-enhancing drug trafficking, or bribery are automatically disqualified. Politicians, lobbyists, television evangelists, advertising executives, used car salesmen, personal injury lawyers, psychics, hair replacement specialists, and others of questionable integrity need not apply. Our standards might be low here at the TSMTT, but they’re not THAT low. Considering the class of people who haunt these pages, due diligence is necessary to ensure a fair and honest competition.

 

Please see the rules listed below. Suggestions regarding additions or subtractions will be taken under advisement here at TSMTT World Headquarters. Good luck to all.

 

1) Tarpon must be brought to hand solely by the contestant using a fly rod and an artificial fly tied on a single (preferably barbless) hook. (none of this “touching the leader counts” stuff)

 

2) A few IGFA rules apply. A class tippet testing approximately 20 pounds (10 KG) or less is mandatory. Shock leaders are fine. Trolling is not.

 

3) Since most of the regulars here would have trouble finding their own asses with both hands, guided trips are permissible. (I’ve already engaged a charter captain, who’s gonna “make a few calls” for some local info in exchange for casting lessons)

 

4) Photographs are encouraged, although not necessary. Suspicious photos of 600-pound white perch or images from the 1950s of Joe Brooks standing alongside a dead 150-pounder will be carefully examined by our team of experts, and perpetrators of these and other deceptive practices will be severely punished. (I’ve already made up a “disqualified” list - it’s no secret who the pathological liars are around here, so all I have to do now is cut & paste)

 

5) All tarpon must be immediately released alive and unharmed. Removal of the fish from the water for a “grip & grin” will result in automatic disqualification. Tarpon are magnificent creatures, worthy of respect, and deserve every chance to survive.

 

We might as well get the DQ list going at the outset; the world is full of people who don’t deserve the recognition they already get, let alone the prestige of winning the world-renowned TSMTT. Feel free to submit your favorites.

 

1) Alex Rodriguez

 

2) Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber (we don’t want to appear sexist, so let’s DQ ‘em both)

 

3) Anyone who wears a logo-encrusted jumpsuit and uses twin 200HP outboards to fish for largemouth bass

post-281-0-56672800-1390079167_thumb.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Peter, sounds like a "trip" is in order again! Tarpon would be fun, but I'll settle for the Reds again otherwise!

 

I think logo encrusted jump suits for the bass guys went out in the early 80's! laugh.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Im in, you know that. First chance of actually catching one for me will be the end of February

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I noticed you added hair replacement specialist to the banned list. What about an out of work hair replacement specialist. This Brazillian fad that Playboy promotes has been killing me. On the other hand, as soon as the fashion cycle loops back around to the 70's style, I'll be rolling in dough.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
This Brazillian fad that Playboy promotes has been killing me.

You know that God gave some of us perfect heads & the rest he gave hair! laugh.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

With all things being the same and my term of incarceration coming up this April I would like to play. Do I have to save my head?

 

I'm a known cross dresser, gutter dweller, and I lie about two things. The size of my fish and…my dress size.

 

post-27925-0-44237700-1390091140_thumb.jpg

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LOL - I knew this one would bring the loonies out of the woodwork.

 

Utyer - I think Armstrong's ineligibility goes without saying. As far as I'm concerned, he's been disqualified from our species, never mind honest competition. This board is infested with frauds of every stripe, but at least we're men enough to come clean when we're caught.

 

Ben - you were already first on the list. Come to think of it, you're first on a lot of lists, most of which are posted in the squad rooms of various anti-vice task forces.

 

Andy - if it's sympathy you're looking for, you're barking up the wrong tree here. The root of your anguish is that you've been kicking yourself for admitting that you've already caught tarpon, and thus, ineligible to participate. (yep, I remember) Besides, that polyester leisure suit you wear around town would be enough to get you bounced in the first place. You know perfectly well that the members of the saltwater board take a great deal of pride in their keen fashion sense.

 

Jim - I've seen your head from the vantage point of my canoe's rear seat, and the word "perfect" never once entered my mind.

 

Which brings us to Dave: ah, yes, Dave. Mon ami, your recent confinement should be no obstacle to your participation. Since most of the field have already been convicted of various and sundry "abominable and detestable crimes against nature," skinny dipping with a goat herd is barely considered a distraction around here, let alone a crime. And as far as lying goes: if we start bouncing liars, the tournament could be held in a bathtub, with enough room left over for Shaquille O'Neal and a case of sardines. BTW - the grand prize is automatically doubled, should the winner PROVE that he made his catch while wearing a dress. (for obvious reasons, this amendment does not apply to female contestants - not that any would stoop so low as to be seen with this crowd ) And Dave - don't worry about shaving your head. As a matter of fact, I've been considering including this photo from your USAF ID in our next press release.

post-281-0-32286200-1390145756_thumb.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just in final protest to last year's unfair judgement ... let me recap my achievements and reason I SHOULD have won.

My first ever tarpon ... caught from shore, which immediately set the bar too high for most others to reach.

 

 

Then I broke my own personal best (my first fish) by catching an even larger from my rental car since I didn't have a boat. (I am still in court proceedings with the rental car company).

 

 

My third catch of the tournament was, unfortunately, lost to friction as I tried to get it to certified scales.

 

 

I finally got back home to Florida, were I got the chance to fish for warm water tarpon. Since this tarpon was fought in reverse ... my fly caught on a cruise ship full of witnesses ...

 

 

And me holding onto the tarpon's lip with one hand and my boat with the other ... it should have counted. Yes, it did throw my boat and me with it's last jump ... but I did have it "to hand".

 

 

And, although I didn't catch it ... I am the only one I know who has seen an actual Snow Tarpon ... with a picture to prove it.

 

 

SOOOO .... I can't enter this year ... but I SHOULD have won last year, anyway !!!

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just in final protest to last year's unfair judgement ... let me recap my achievements and reason I SHOULD have won.

My first ever tarpon ... caught from shore, which immediately set the bar too high for most others to reach.

attachicon.gif1st tarpon.jpg

 

Then I broke my own personal best (my first fish) by catching an even larger from my rental car since I didn't have a boat. (I am still in court proceedings with the rental car company).

attachicon.gif2nd tarpon.jpg

 

My third catch of the tournament was, unfortunately, lost to friction as I tried to get it to certified scales.

attachicon.gif3rd tarpon.jpg

 

I finally got back home to Florida, were I got the chance to fish for warm water tarpon. Since this tarpon was fought in reverse ... my fly caught on a cruise ship full of witnesses ...

attachicon.gifTarpon Mustache Island 3.jpg

 

And me holding onto the tarpon's lip with one hand and my boat with the other ... it should have counted. Yes, it did throw my boat and me with it's last jump ... but I did have it "to hand".

attachicon.gif4th tarpon.jpg

 

And, although I didn't catch it ... I am the only one I know who has seen an actual Snow Tarpon ... with a picture to prove it.

attachicon.gifPicture1.jpg

 

SOOOO .... I can't enter this year ... but I SHOULD have won last year, anyway !!!

 

Disqualified:

 

1) Alex Rodriguez

 

2) Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber (we don’t want to appear sexist, so let’s DQ ‘em both)

 

3) Anyone who wears a logo-encrusted jumpsuit and uses twin 200HP outboards to fish for largemouth bass

 

4) Lance Armstrong

 

(cut and paste)

 

5) Mike Chell

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

PJ, Judging by the strict rules of this prestigious event, I am still a tarpon virgin having never grabbed one by the jaw yet, and here I have been celebrating my apparent tarpon success for years now. So, I guess that makes me eligible to participate. Or does the fact that I am a federal bureaucrat ensure my automatic disqualification? Nevertheless, I will be down your way in 5 months or so trying out an 11 wt one piece I am having built. We'll see how that goes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Jeez, and here I was thinking the rules were pretty lax this year. In fact, I was reconsidering Mike's disqualification; heck, anybody who'd get that creative just to get himself thrown out of the event should get some kind of award, though I can't imagine what it would be. Besides, the more no-chance-to-win entrants we get, the more flies go into the prize pool. At this stage, nobody's gonna believe Mike if he catches one in front of 500 witnesses, and 400 of them are nuns. (anybody can be bought) Skimmer, you're gonna have to elaborate a bit, I think your interpretation of the rules is a little off. The angler doesn't have to be the one who grabs the jaw, all he's gotta do is bring the fish in with no assistance. Methinks somebody's trying to sneak into the fray. BTW - I hope you're not counting on me for info when you come down. Even my dog gets blindfolded when I take him fishing, and folks around here will give you their debit cards before they'll give up their tarpon spots.

 

OK, so far we've got:

 

1) PJ

 

2) Ben

 

3) Panama Dave

 

4) Tidewater Jim (I don't know if he's gonna fish for tarpon, but he ties nice flies, so he's in whether he likes it or not)

 

5) Mike Chell (sorry, there's no way to leave him out just yet - I can't wait to see what stunt he's gonna pull next)

 

6) Mudskimmer

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OK. I'll elaborate. Never fished for tarpon outside of Va. Started looking for them in 2009. Fished flies exclusively for them starting in 2011 and hooked up second day out that year. Got that one to the leader several times but after an hour and a half the shock tippet popped. I am guessing in the 60-80 lb range although it could have been more. Was fishing a good 10wt rod with a lousy reel so maybe that hurt my chances. Plenty of sightings and a couple near misses but no hookups since. So, I am anything but a ringer. I know what you mean about the locals. However, I did find the commercial fisherman to be very helpful (maybe it was the gas fumes at 430 in the morning that provided the truth serum) and I stumbled onto a couple of other spots by getting lost in the fog one day. I am probably better off as a spectator on this one. The pressure of a tournament cant possibly help my shaky casting!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OK, Skimmer, you're in - you can handle the pressure if I can. Give me a shout when you come down this summer - we can get together and hammer a few 100-pounders. (there are always reds if the weather turns sour) I know of a couple spots where the 'poons were pretty thick this past year, (not out of the well-known village) and according to my spies, a lot of them were in the 150-pound range. You sound to me like a man who can keep a secret, and I don't tell anybody anything. I'm in heaven down here, and I'm not gonna be the one who tips off the crowds.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Am I to assume that anyone using performance enhancing drugs should be disqualified? This list to include, but not be limited too Barry Bonds and Lance among others. Many others! As things have been going in the past few years we may just as well include coffee, tea, Coke and any other stimulants commonly in use to enhance performance. To win the coveted award and to properly respect the prized tarpon I humbly request that the fore mentioned PEDs become forbidden and anyone known or found to be using them be DQ'd.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...