2004 3rd Annual list of Useless Flyfishing equipme

[Guest]

If anyone wants to see the first and second list of last year and two years ago i will post them... but this is this years. Ok... here we go. Remember.. This list may not necessarily fit everyones definition of “useless”.. But because of the cost of certain item’s I find them useless and interchangeable with other more practical ways of covering your bases here. So these items are my own opinion and nothing more so please don’t smother me with e-mails about my insensitivity. Certainly, I would suspect under certain circumstances or “personal” preference someone can feel they “need” this stuff. Also.. I am not drawing attention to any manufactures or suppliers ..but just in general terms of a specific product., regardless of who makes them or supplies them. Buy the way parental Guidance suggested..

 

Number 10- OSO Gear Station- I don’t know really how to describe this and I will not quote anything.But this piece of furniture has the Ralph Lauren look.. A rustic Post with all sorts of hooks( sorry “pegs”) and holes and boot jacks, and, etc..etc. This is to hang and dry off your stuff. So anyone with a rustic Montana lodge, or 1 million dollar plus Cape home can ‘Have it all”. There is no doubt that for a measly $159 bucks your can have this next to your $7000 home theater and watch it at the same time as your handy man checks on the drying conditions in between watching your first run movies.

 

Number 9– Well I will not name any products because you all know them... yes. $45 dollar plus fly boxes. I did one of these in my last years report. But this year we have a new assortment of them. Some of the trout boxes are easy to understand, while others need you to understand “String Theory’ to place and remove your flies. Someone must think flyfishing is boring to bring these to the market.

 

Number 8– I am including 2 items here..but they say the same thing... the $30 Abel lube System and the Dyna King $39.95 Cement Reservoir and Bodkin. Hey..I really don’t know what to say here except.... “ Boss, I was just thinking... I think this company pays me too much.. I don’t want to bring this issue to Human resources.. But I would hope you can do something about this pronto”.

 

Number 7 - ... and one of my favorites... The Stu Apte Signature Series Polarized Clic Sportsman Goggles... Man ..These are a must... Ok I confess I paid $99.99 and bought them for Boston Driving. I love the look I get when I have them on as someone tries to cut in front of me. The insane look that is built in provides me with the opportunity of keeping both hands on the wheel and not have to flip them the bird... Plus they are very intimidating... and I like intimidating in Boston traffic...just to be competitive you understand.

 

Number 6 - Ex-Officio is at it again. I guess they can’t sell enough of there other overpriced stuff.. So now we have a real winner.. I love this..The Ex-Officio Buzz-Off Collection... yes “collection” it says.. I can’t add up all the items and the cost but it is definitely a new line... and EPA approved it says. It has some built in insect repellant. It’s called Permethin.. A synthetic version of some natural stuff. ( found in King Tut’s tomb–no, just kidding) They make shirts..and, get this ..Socks too. The heading says It Was Only A Matter Of Time. You can figure the cost of this useful stuff. Now I have to get every color of THAT.

 

Number 5 - The Orvis Traveler’s Stripping Basket... HHHMMM.. A striping basket that folds up into a brief case shape.. Has all the cones and other stuff..but this baby costs $59 bucks!!!!!!!!!!!. But it does have a noncorrosive zipper... and comes with a years subscription to Forbes Magazine AND TH Wall Street Journal (Just Kidding)... So wherever you are you can look and feel like the big fat important businessman you think you are....and you don’t have to say a word.. Nice Huh?

 

Number 4 - The Umpqua Line Scale... this is new this year and cheap..only $19.95 and is in ALL catalogs.. If you forget to mark your spare lines you can rig this little baby up and find out the line weight. Now, I know some of you might say that’s not a bad idea... another good idea is to do what you always do and mark your lines with a permenent magic marker Hey.. I will take credit for that innovation... Next year I will come out with a magic marker that is specifically AND only to be used for marking fly lines.. I will also have labeled on the pen. “ Do not use for other applications under the penalties of Federal Law”. Good idea ..huh?

 

Number 3 - Ok.................... THE LL.BEAN MODULAR FISHING SYSTEM... I wish I could add music to this one. You have to see this to believe it but you can get a system to customize all your packs from float tubing to wading... sorry..BIG river wading.... This has everything and even a harness and ultra light harness.. ( Too bad .no whips.. “Ok Baby..here I come!!!). It has a “refuse bag” too and the ever popular water bottle and Holster., reel case, camera case... and a “modular” pocket. What’s a modular Pocket? Never mind. Add of the price of this stuff and you can se it MUST be useful. Looks great anyway! I must add here the SIMMS WADERWICK BOXER shorts. Nice and tight and does not bunch up. I call this an Ant-Wedgie devise to protect you from some of those fresh boys you might encounter on the BIG river.

 

Number-2- Remember last year or the year before I did a thing on Sun Gloves.... well sure enough we now have “Glacier Fighter Sun Gloves”.. These are padded and are real cool. I love them... why? because they say “Fighter”....I really want to get these because I like the way it sounds.. “FIGHTER!!!”... F..I G...H....T...E...R...... Mano a Mano... Only a real man would get these. Oh the world of Madison Avenue marketing techniques.

 

NUMBER 1 - and this deserves the Number One designation. The MARCO POLO FLY TYING SYSTEM... This comes in a little black case with the vise and all the tools in shinny stainless steel..like Dental equipment... This is a serious system for serious tyers... and scary looking... well the only thing that comes to mind when I look at this “system” is the movie “Marathon Man” and the fuzzy close up face of Zell (Lawrence Olivier).. Saying “Is it safe?.... Is it safe?.... is it safe?” Well.... it had better be safe because this baby costs only $599.00!!!!!!!!!!!! more than any vice on the market.

 

 

 

[Guest]

John

 

I love reading your lists they sure brighten up a cold winter day

 

IMO the most useless products ever made are the "Artistic Anodized" reels and vises put out by Abel. I would love to meet the genius who came up with that idea

 

I found last years list http://www.flytyingforum.com/index.php?showtopic=460

 

Great Stuff!

 

 

[Guest]

Smallie, does GreenCaddis sell any of the that stuff?

[Guest]

Bumped up since DFIX has not seen it.

[Onshore 0]

I'll second your list, John and bump it again for Dave.

[Guest]

I very much enjoy these lists. I hope this annual 'tradition' continues!

 

Thank You Striblue!

[Guest]

just came across this thread....great...very funny stuff!!! Yes, must be an annual report! Love it!!