Have you ever.............

[NJFlyMAn 0]

Wow, after reading this. I guess that's why i let my wife have her expensive spa days, buy all the clothes, shoes and jewelry she wants with in reason. So if she ever had a stupid reason to get mad enough at me and toss anything of mine in the trash, all of her fancy Lenox plates and her fine waterford crystal will find it's new home along side my stuff. Or maybe some will be sold on Ebay to cover my cost of the stuff she tossed. Since I don't play them childish games..

[oatka 0]

so, what did you do?

 

Probably one of the worst things you can do "I took her for granted was paying more attention to my fly fishing then her." Well she fixed that now didn't she.

 

I should have seen it coming, My bad.

 

Thanks for sharing with the FTF class. Now students, your homework is to get up from your tying desk, or walk away from the water, and go buy your wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend a nice box of chocolates and some flowers and take him/her out to dinner and NOT bring up fishing for 3 2 1 hours.

 

Steve, your homework since you are single is to pack up some rod parts and send them my way!

[Robert M 0]

Don't appreciate being the guinea pig on this one.

But glad to if it helps someone out.

[tidewaterfly 0]

Since I don't play them childish games

 

Unfortunately, when it comes to relationships, we all play childish games at one time or another. It's human nature.

 

Bob, I went through a rough time several years ago when I was tying commercially, and my wife was ready to leave over it. I was struggling, was out of work with my regular job due to an injury, was fighting with an insurance company over workers comp issues & staying up all night trying to tie enough flies to help pay the bills & feed the kids. She worked also, but always seemed to be mad at me. It all wasn't working, we just did not have enough money coming in & our relationship suffered. We didn't talk to each other, sometimes days at a time & actually I tried to avoid her whenever I could. I slept on the couch a lot at that time. Finally, I had enough too! I gave up tying commercially.

 

It all worked out, and in the end I realized how much she meant to me, more than anything else. I apologized to her, and told her how I felt. Neither one of us was completely guilty, but in the end we both knew there were more important things that we needed. You have to know what your priorities are. Sometimes the childish games get in the way! Such is life!

 

I spend a lot more time with her now, and I do more things that she wants to do, although sometimes reluctantly. We're closer now than we've been in many years, likely since we first got married. I'll never put anything else in the way of our marriage again, not even fly tying or fishing. I still tie a lot of flies, and still do the things I enjoy, just not as much. I probably spend more time thinking about what she needs now than I did before too! She's become a lot more tolerant of my hobbies also!

 

Sounds like you need to clear the air & let her know how you feel, get on your knee's & apologize, talk to her and find out how she feels & go from there. Hopefully it will all work out in the end. Tying stuff can be replaced, but good relationships & marriages are hard to find these days. Hope it all works out for you!

[bigdewy 0]

 

Your computer might be next!!!

 

 

My computer is her computer except at work so she would be cutting off her nose to spite her face.

 

I mean I know I "F"'d up but jeez a large chunk of my tying stuff.

 

 

Maybe we can pitch in and help you replace some of the "lost" items, assuming she is beyond the "throw it out" stage.

[Robert M 0]

Only things I have to replace are a couple of bobbins and some materials. I had spares or older tools but still usable stuff stashed away in other locations. She really didn't put much of a dent in my materials but she wiped out my black and yellow wool, and a #3 black cape.

[Kirk Dietrich 0]

Only things I have to replace are a couple of bobbins and some materials. I had spares or older tools but still usable stuff stashed away in other locations. She really didn't put much of a dent in my materials but she wiped out my black and yellow wool, and a #3 black cape.

 

I hope she didn't get those boxes of Pre-'61 Bass fly swap flies.

 

Tide, good story. I was in a similiar situation but I was still working. So, with my commercial tying and weekends away fishing, I was in essence living a single life; especially since I was keeping the money from tying for more materials and fishing gear, so I wouldn't have to take it out of the regular budget - I thought I was doing a noble thing; ha! Fortunately, my wife laid it on the line and I just couldn't believe she actually expected me to cut back on my interests and devote more time to our relationship/family. Then after some sulking and pondering about this revolutionary idea, I realized she was right. I started putting half the money in to the regular checking and the other half back in to the business, which didn't leave much for my fishing stuff. Also, cut back on fishing excursions.

Its a give and take thing, and by me giving my time, as you found out, she is more tolerant of my fishing/tying ventures.

Oh, I tried the flowers and spas, etc. that is just temporary and almost an apology for doing something wrong. Most women want your time and a feeling of being connected and cared for - damn, this is getting to drippy; lets go fishing!

 

Kirk

[Flytyer14 0]

I can help you with materials. IF you need any Deer or Elk let me know!

[Robert M 0]

Like I said I did not loose all that much just the materials and tools that were on my work board at the time. I have stuff stashed all over the place in plastic boxes and such.

 

Basically I lost my Thompson 360 vise old style(that hurt), two S&M Bobbins (modified that hurt too), a couple Thompson midge bobbins, half dozen spools of thread, my Anvil scissors (grrrrr, ouch), a pair of no name scissors, whip finisher, 2 bodkins, a roll of pearl mylar tubing, a half dozen spinner bait skirts, #2 or #3 black cape from ConRanch, half a pound of wool in black, tan, orange and yellow, couple dozen assorted hooks, package of black marabou, package of strung black hackles, head cement and zap a gap.

 

Wow now that I write it out it does seem like a lot but it was just a drop in the bucket. I went out and grabbed stuff that I had stored away and didn't have replacements on a couple items.

 

Lesson learned: Spend at least as much QUALITY time with your significant other as your hobbies specially when times get tougher.

[Robert M 0]

 

 

I hope she didn't get those boxes of Pre-'61 Bass fly swap flies.

 

 

Kirk

 

They were safe in a box in another room.

[Batman 0]

Hmmm,, Diamonds/ jewelry might put you back on the ladder???? always worked for me