The Imagined History of “Tenkara”

[mikechell 0]

I was going to post this in the "Joke of the Day" thread. Then I thought, although it's meant as a joke, some won't take it that way. Rather than taking a chance on the "Joke of the Day" being shut down, I figured I'd put this in it's own thread.

 

Before we start ... it's a story. "The Imagined History of "Tenkara". Any resemblance to places or people, fictional or real, is strictly coincidental and not intentional ... at all !!!

 

Further, I am going to complete it in several posts. If you find yourself getting upset ... STOP reading!!! It's a joke, nothing more.

 

Here we go ....

 

[mikechell 0]

The Imagined History of “Tenkara”

(Includes most of the history of fishing in general)

By Mike Chell

No one can doubt, the first fish gathering techniques were necessarily brutish. Netting, basket traps and spears were used to get food. No thoughts of sport or “fun” involved. Men who caught fish were considered as highly as Mammoth hunters, since they spread tales of giant predators that threatened them every time they went out. In their secret “fishing packs”, in their closed up fishing packhuts (we now call them ‘clubs’ and ‘clubhouses’), they snickered at the hunters and naive villagers.

But, their status was becoming difficult to maintain. In those areas where such methods were used, near shore and in the shallows, the fish became scarce. Not only were their numbers reduced by such rough, but efficient, killing methods, but the fish “learned” to avoid humans. All attempts to slow down the harvesting (conservation is not a ‘new’ concept) were ridiculed, since the appetites of the villagers needed to be filled.

So, it became necessary to reach farther out, to get to the fish, rather than waiting for the fish to come near. This required the development of string, or cord and a hooking device. The first humans to develop these items quickly learned that other tribes would trade goods and labor for the devices or the knowledge of building such wonders. (Fishing Tackle stores were born)

[mikechell 0]

These original fishermen use their hands to pull in fish. Hand stringing was all the rage, and the fish catchers were, once again, hailed as “chiefs among men”! All was good, for a while, as better hand strings (the tackle stores began calling the string “line”, so it sounded better, too), hooking devices and techniques were invented. But, alas, the fish again learned to stay out of range, and catch numbers dropped. This lull was short lived, however, as it wasn’t a huge leap of intelligence (even for the fishermen) to realize tying the ‘line’ to a long stick would increase your reach. Pole fishing was invented, literally, overnight, as there were a lot more sticks available back then.

Again, inventors helped the fishermen stay in the good graces of the public. Someone found a bamboo stalk that was longer, slenderer and lighter than regular sticks, and “Cane Poles” sprang onto the fishing scene like dynamite. (Dynamite hadn’t been invented yet, so they said, ‘leapteth unto thee landeth like waveths unto thee sandeths!’)

[mikechell 0]

Inventors continued to invent, tackle stores continued to push their newest items. “Cane” poles were replaced with newer materials. (But, fishermen, who do not always accept change well, continued to call them “Cane poles”) Lighter and longer, the cane poles ruled the fishing world for generations. As the cane poles got longer and lighter, they also would bend more, and fishing became fun, as well as productive. (Again, the fishermen gathered in their fishing packhuts and snickered at the rest of The Land, ‘They do not realize how much fun we have. This is not labor, it is FREEDOM!’)

But, again, the fish became conditioned. Staying farther out, deeper, or just spooking easier at the approach of long shadows, poles reaching over head. Inventors responded to the challenge, developing … REELS (imagine angel’s choruses and lights from above). All kinds of reels, wonders of engineering, with handles and spools and gears attaching the handles to the spools. Reels allowed the fishermen to reach farther than ever. Reels allowed them to use enough line to let the bait fall to depths heretofore unimagined. Reels (again with the angel choruses) allowed them to … cast and retrieve line over and over again. It was no longer necessary to wait for the fish to find the bait … one could see the area where a fish should be, and cast to it, repeatedly.

[mikechell 0]

Pieces of flesh, fish or crawling things were too soft for this casting method, and inventors started making items that LOOKED like pieces of flesh, fish or crawling things. With hooking devices attached (thin, wire, metal hooks were invented, because it’s really hard to attach bone hooks to fake fish), these fake baits could be cast and retrieved many times. Fishing took leaps and bounds out of the “work” arena and into the “fun” arena. Villagers started to notice. Fishermen lost their status, but sport fishing was born, and most of the fishermen became guides and tackle store owners and court bards and lawyers. (Since their ability to tell tall tales was already legendary across the kingdoms)

Several hundred years pass. Fake baits become known as “lures” and “Artificial baits” in multitudes of styles. Fishing poles became “rods”, also in multitudes of styles. Fishing became a major sport, pastime and business. Some went down the road to heavier rods, chasing large brawling Basses and Ocean fish. Some went down another road, seeking quiet backwaters, and pretty little fish, using lighter and lighter rods and lures. Fly fishing became as elitist sport, since it was one of the most difficult ways to present a lure to fish. The Fly Fisherman was often reviled, for his snobbish disdain for all other types of sport fishing. But usually, he was admired, for his ability to combine sport fishing with the beautiful art of “Ribbon Dancing”.

[mikechell 0]

Now we come to modern day fishing. Sport fishing is the number one sport business, in many areas. (probably) Fishing, as a pastime, is more popular than any other sport. (again, probably) Sport fishing (even fly fishing) is no longer challenging enough for the adrenaline-junky, 10-second-attention-span, modern day angler. Inventors became baffled at how to inspire, attract and amaze the masses. BUT, now was the time for the TACKLE STORES to rise up.

“No,” The Burly-Boy Seller (The king of tackle stores, henceforth referred to as The BBS) exclaimed! “We will not let the sport (or our profits) die!” They needed to develop a strategy. “It has been many generations,” he uttered, grinding his gnarled, wart covered hands together, “since our forefathers sold hand lines and cane poles to sportsmen.” “Not true,” replied Momanpop, one of the less vulture-ish among them, “I sell cane poles to families all the time.”

The BBS flipped his dead-tree shaped hand, and Momanpop disappeared in a puff of greenish/yellow smoke. “Retro is the way of things! The auto industry has proven, you can bring back old designs … even call them the same names, and people will flock to them, giving them large sums of money to own a ‘Mustang’ or ‘Charger’ which look almost like twins.” This old crone went on, “We need a way to market hand lines and cane poles, but unlike ‘Mustang’… ‘cane pole’ just doesn’t ring.”

[mikechell 0]

Webling, more cautious than Momanpop but brighter than most, offered a solution. “Americans are infatuated with ‘returning’ to the old ways. But they are woefully unaware of the same technologies in other Countries.” The BBS’ eyes glittered, like diamonds lying at the bottom of an outhouse, “Yeess, and?” The youngster continued, “Other peoples have also used hand lines and cane poles, but obviously, their language ‘calls’ these items a different name.” His voice stronger, as he realized his idea was going to be accepted, “We just need to find a name that the Americans like!”

 

In the corner, a good friend of Webling’s, PacRimster, spoke up. “We call our cane poles ‘tenkara’.” Webling walked over and stood side by side with PacRimster, it was obvious they’d seen this coming. They’d rehearsed. Alternating harmoniously, they said,

“It’s the best.”

“The line is so long.”

“It’s impossible to bring the fish in with the rod.”

“The rod must be dropped.”

“Before the fish is caught.”

“The fish brought in the last few feet BY HAND!”

They sang out the last line together, “IT COMBINES CANE POLE FISHING AND HAND LINING, THE TWO MOST ANCIENT FORMS OF FISHING !!!”

 

The BBS was pleased. Drool dripped from his thin lower lip. He was sure this would Leapeth, just as his first sales of cane poles had. But he’d seen so many ups and downs during his immortal life … “Good,” he crooned, “Goooood.”

 

“But things will change! Start working on a way to attach a spear head to the Tenkara!”

[mikechell 0]

The end

[David 82nd 0]

Lmfao ! Love this mike , smoking mirrors,and flashing light , " fancy names and great marketing , lol throw in some " wisdom of far away lands , burn incense on the river bank and somebody will jump into the latest flavor of the month lol. Great writing mike .

Somebody sitting in an office came up/ w a great marketing plan to cast the next great " image " , lol reminds me of the guy that invented the paper clip, clothes pin , or bread tie , then don't forget the " official tankarra straw hat , , to be sold ar all major retailers for $49.95 , that's been officially blessed by the one and only " Yaka-moto"

[mikechell 0]

Thank you, David. I'm not as good as some of the guys on this site, but I try.

 

If you want to read some REAL humorist writing, look up the Tarpon Rookie Tournament threads from a few years ago.

[utyer 0]

One small point you missed Mike. The literal meaning of the word tenkara. When someone familiar with Japanese reads the name in Roman characters (tenkara), and not in the katakana characters it is usually written with (テンカラ), they read it as if it meant “from heaven”. The sound ten is usually “heaven or sky”, kara mean “from”. Meaning that once again the angler commands a great deal of respect as one sent literally from heaven. High praise indeed for all practitioners of this new (and also very old angling method.)

[Lesg 0]

Mike,

You gotta get away from the computer and go fishing. Nobody (or very few) give a sh?t about tenkara even if it's from heaven. I do get the humour though. LOL

 

Les

[mikechell 0]

Utyer ... I am confused now.

 

According to my martial arts Sensei ...

 

Karate = kara (empty) and te (hand)

 

'Ten' can mean "heaven" or just "sky".

 

So ... "tenkara" actually means "ten" (heaven or sky) + "kara" (empty) = sky empty or empty sky?

 

He actually doesn't know what the term "tenkara" is supposed to mean as it pertains to the fishing rods.

[Philly 0]

That's funny, as I was reading it. I remember as a kid watching on the B&W TV, some documentary on commercial fishing for tuna. The guys fishing were lined up along the rail with really heavy duty bamboo poles with heavy duty line attached and a large feathered hook on the end. They'd chum the tuna into a feeding frenzy and then "dapple" the hooks on the surface until they got a strike, then they'd haul back and the tuna would coming flying out of the water, bounce off when they hit the lid of the storage bin behind the guys fishing. To us kids the funniest part was when a guy didn't haul hard enough an a tuna would bounce off his face and back into the water instead. Maybe we could organize a Tenkara tournament. Call it the Tenkara Trout Tossing Tournament. Whoever tosses their trout the furthest wins the cash prize.