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Fly Tying
Steeldrifter

Joke of the day

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Got any little ones around?   My wife knows bunch of this stuff.    Touch the child on chin say ROOSTER, touch on the nose and say PULLET, touch forehead and say HEN.    Do it a couple of times then touch the nose and ask WHAT’S THAT?  They say PULLIT!  Then take hand swish across their nose, lightly grab it and tuck end of thumb between your two fingers and show what appears to be their nose in your hand.😳😛👍.    Y’all ain’t no fun🤗 🤪

Problem maybe city kids don’t know what a pullet is.   Did one kid and they replied CHICKEN 🐓🥴 

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Game warden was cruising along and noticed duck fall outa the air in a flooded field.  To his disbelief it happened again...no gunshot sound???   He pulled over trudged out to the blind and discovered a man/ wife in it.  He asked how the world they were dropping the ducks.   The old man said we UGLY them to death.   About that time a mallYard drake came over and sure enough the guy turned and looked up and grimiest at the duck and it crumpled!   GW was astonished.   😳He asked I see that one makes a limit for you....What about the wife?   Oh she doesn’t shoot officer.   She TEARS em up too much.   That is sure enough UGLY!!!!!🤪😂

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On 6/5/2020 at 10:49 PM, denduke said:

Game warden was cruising along and noticed duck fall outa the air in a flooded field.  To his disbelief it happened again...no gunshot sound???   He pulled over trudged out to the blind and discovered a man/ wife in it.  He asked how the world they were dropping the ducks.   The old man said we UGLY them to death.   About that time a mallYard drake came over and sure enough the guy turned and looked up and grimiest at the duck and it crumpled!   GW was astonished.   😳He asked I see that one makes a limit for you....What about the wife?   Oh she doesn’t shoot officer.   She TEARS em up too much.   That is sure enough UGLY!!!!!🤪😂

Youse guys ain’t pronouncing it right....YOU-gly👍

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Doctor- I have reviewed all the tests. I'm going to give you a shot.

Patient- Great, doc. Pour yourself one while you're at it.

Doctor said he would have me back on my feet. I had to sell my car to pay my bill!

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Why do rednecks make good astronauts? Because they took up space in school.

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A man was driving down the highway when a state trooper pulled in behind him. The man floored it and was going as fast as he could go. He finally stopped. The trooper ask why he was going so fast. The man replied, My wife ran off with a trooper and I thought you were bringing her back!

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A man died and went to heaven. St. Peter met him and said he could the folks there about one significant thing that happened to him on earth. The man said he lived through the Johnstown flood. St. Peter said good but Noah is in the crowd.

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Two Catholic priests died and went to heaven. St. Peter said their devotion to the Church was outstanding. As a reward, they can go back to earth as anything they want to be. The first priest said he wanted to be an eagle. OK, your wish is granted. St. Peter turns to the next priest and asks the same question. I want to be a stud!  A y ear goes by and the first priest is at the Pearly Gates. St.  Peter asked how was the year. Great. I went out west and soared over mountains, rivers and glaciers. He looked around and asked where the other priest was. St. Peter replied, We don't know. Last we heard, he was a 2X4 in Kansas City!

This was told to me by a very devout Catholic lady.

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This was told to me by a Catholic priest who was a good friend. We met when I was president of the local ministers association. We used to have a blast telling Catholic and Baptist jokes to each other.

A little community in the Kentucky mountains had two churches, Catholic and Baptist. Suddenly, the Baptist minister died. There was no time to get a Baptist to conduct the funeral. They asked the priest if he would do the funeral. He told them he would check with the bishop. The telegram said, "Can I bury a Baptist?" The reply came back, "Yes! Bury all the Baptists you can."

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My Catholic friend told this one.

A man was at the race track, walking around the stables and looking at the horses. Down at the end of one stable was a priest going through some sort of ritual. The man thought if the priest is blessing the horse, how can i lose? He bet everything on the horse who came in last! Dejected, he was walking around the grandstands and happened to bump into the priest. "Father, if you blessed the horse, why did he come in last?" The priest asked, "My son, are you a Catholic?" "No, father, I'm a Baptist." "Then you don't know the difference between a blessing and the Last Rites."

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