Alex C. 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Well it looks like my wife and I are gonna get a divorce I won't get into the gory details if I don't have to, but basicly, she's not happy, and I don't know how I can fix things. Maybe it's for the best, but it doesn't feel that way right now. I've been with her since I was just over 16, she was just under 15. I'm 25 now and she just turned 24. So I think the hardest part of all this is gonna be that we haven't lived any part of our lives without each other. This has to be the worst day of my life. I will never marry again, she is my soul mate, or atleast I thought so. We had a long talk and I am really happy that we are gonna be adults about all this, no fighting over dishes, or other material items. What's hers is hers and whats mine is mine. I'll probably keep the house and the new car since she can't afford the payments on either. I am gonna help her out as much as I can with getting someplace to live and a reliable vehicle. Then theres the kids, this is the part that's really tough, we both want our kids to grow up with each of us and each other as full time family members, meaning that we don't want to have em with me for a week and with her for a week, or have one live with me and one live with her. They need each of us and they need each other to get through this. SO we;re trying to figure some type of arrangement out so that they will still feel like they have a family at home and not just a parent, if that makes any sense. Hopefully we can figure out something that will make this easy on them. I don't think I have it in me to tell them. It's gonna be really hard I just don't know what to do with the rest of my life. I think I;ll just spend as much time with the kids as possible and when they're with their mom or at school to fish like crazy. I know everyone probably says it but, I will never marry again, theres no way I would risk putting myself through something like this again. No way man. But I also hate the thought of growing old all alone. Why does this kind of stuff have to happen? WHy can't things be good again? What did I do to deserve this to happen? Did I mention that this is the worst day of my life? :ripped: :ripped: :ripped: This next parts gonna sound bad, but I gotta get this stuff off my chest. Wanna know something funny though? I still have my sense of humor goin strong as ever I am gonna catch so many god dang fish, that no woman will want anything to do with me anyways cause I'm gonna stink like fish. I guess if everything goes as planned I'll just tear down the wall between my fly tying room and the downstairs living room and double my tying space :yahoo: Oh the possibilities :yahoo: I could build big tying benches for each kid instead of them having to share my bench with me. I'd have the ultimate bachelor pad. What good is it though when I won't have my wife to enjoy it with, even though she wants nothing to do with my hobby. What an emotional rollercoaster, thanks for listening Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Redwings1 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Man Alex, I am sorry to hear that. I guess you atleast have the right attitude about it and will always be there for the kids. I know I am a ways away, but anything I can do to help let me know. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bud Guidry 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2006 PM'ed you alex Bud Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AlG 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2006 I'm sorry to hear that! I know i'm new and all but i've been through it.....If ya need to talk or anything PM me! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fcflyguy 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2006 sorry to hear that olb, just keep you chin up and you never known what tomoorow will bring wemon are funny one day they are unhappy then when they leave it not what they thought it would be , mabee its just a rut the way everything is now adays its hard to maintain a family life I allwasy say I was born to late in the old day all a GUY HAD T WORRY about was food firewood and indains Take care FCflyguy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
harleyhunter 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Sorry to hear about that buddy. If you need anything or even to talk pm me and we'll set something up. Keep your chin up and stay strong for the kids buddy. Best Wishes, Sam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
longears 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Really sorry to hear that Alex for all of you. This is something that'll you'll get over soon enough though. I've been through this and I'm sure that allot of people on this site have too. Now, comes the part of how you find out who you're real friends are. Just remember that you'll always have friends here to talk to and you'll find some of the best ears to listen here. Godd luck, my friend. Randy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brewer 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2006 dam, thats a long time to be with someone seeing as your only 25. its good your being adults about it, the kids may not appreciate that now, but they will. things always turn out for the best Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mcfly 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Give it a few days maybe a week I think my wife and I have had no less than one big fight for each year we've been married where one of hasn't said we wanted out. She's even locked me out of the house. If you both want to fix the problem it will get fixed. I'm going to say this and it may ruffle some feathers but divorce is the easy way out. Anyway, good luck. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maddog48 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Been there, done that and lost the T-shirt. Not wanting to be a smart :butt: about it, but the sun will come up again tomorrow. Do whatever you can though to make it easy on the kids. I went through mine when my son was 3 and I ended up in Alaska on top of it all. I was military at the time which didn't help my situation. My son was convinced he was the reason his mom and dad split and his dad was away. It took a LONG time to get that squared away. I ended up with custody of him when I got back from my remote assignment. She signed him over to me because she knew I had a better support group in my family and the military. Like my son's counsellor told my ex and me when we talked to her about our son... he did not asked to be born and he damn sure didn't ask to have his life ripped apart and as "adults" we had to make sure everything was for his benefit. It is now almost 20 years later and he is happily married and is trying to adopt my grandson from the daughter-in-laws first marriage. He has done wonders with this boy who has had all types of struggles... confidence, health and general physical activities. What I'm trying to say is it can work to the best for the kids. Don't say anything bad about either parent in front of the children. Let them know you will always love them even though you and their momma aren't happy together anymore. And you never know, it could be just a temporary separation. PM me if you need someone to talk to. Mike Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
day5 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Hey man I feelin for ya I hope that everything turns out for the best. this is going to be hard on all of you. matt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Steeldrifter 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Alex you have Pm buddy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wilcara 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2006 OLB, sorry to hear of your dilemma. I would not presume to patronise you by offering advice but to say that many, many men and children go through this and survive quite well. Your attitude seems really positive so good luck with it. Deal with tomorrow later. By the way, read Maddog48's post a few times, it is really good advice and a great little story. I could not agree more. As with everyone else, if you want to have a rant, feel free.... I'll be thinking of you too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ashby 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Wow man, sorry to hear this is happening to you. I've been there one too many times. There are hard times ahead, not going to lie about that. The good news is you will get through it, even if it seems you won't. Every day that passes gets a little easier, it really does. Hang in there bud, and we are all here for you. Ashby Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lance Kekel 0 Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Alex, I'm really sorry to hear that. There have been a couple times that Angi's seriously played the D word but we've gotten through them. She even quit wearing her wedding band for a couple weeks and was looking at ads for apartments but we've survived. If you haven't done so maybe you can get somebody like a pastor or somebody nuetral to listen and help to hear both sides. I'd bet that you could even find one that will listen even if your not church going individuals. This may all be things you've already thought of... don't know. I know that you've already said that both of you want to make sure that your kids feel like they still have a family but I'm still going to say this any way. Make sure you and your wife show the kids all the love you possibly can through this. When my wife's mom and dad split they were fighting about who was going to keep the kids but neither one wanted them. I know you've got a lot of friends here that are much closer that you can talk to but if you ever need to feel free....... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
