You're already showing improvement from the first to the second! (And both will catch fish.)
In addition to Silver's comments, one thing that stands out to me is the wire rib. A few comments about it:
1) The rib will better protect the pheasant tail if you counter-rib it -- i.e. wrap it in the opposite direction from everything else on the fly. Actually, looking again at the pictures, it looks like you may have counter-wrapped the body, which works just as well.
2) If you have finer wire, use it.
3) Try to keep the rib wraps evenly spaced and parallel to each other. One help with spacing is to plan on doing an odd number of wraps, and make the the middle wrap in the middle of the fly. In other words, if you plan on making five wraps, make sure the third is in the middle of the body. (Five is the traditional number of rib wraps on wet flies, and it's for that very reason.) If the middle wrap ends up anywhere other than the middle of the body, unwind and start over. And don't be afraid to make the wraps tight.
You might want to work your way into tying this pattern a bit at time. Maybe tie a few pheasant tail soft hackles -- leave out the bead, thorax and and wing case. When you're happy with those, tie a couple more with a thorax, but still no bead or wing case. Then do a few more with the wing case. All those can be on a standard length hook. When you add in the bead, use a longer shank hook (like 2x long.)
Alternatively, you can work your way from larger hook sizes to smaller: start with a size 12 and work down.
I notice you list your favorite species as smallmouth. I've actually caught some sizeable smallies on size 16 pheasant tails while I was trout fishing.